‘I Don’t Study Science, I AM the Science,’ Growls Grizzled, Bald Dr. Fauci to Reporters The Babylon Bee 10 Jun 21 662 2
Concerns Arise Over Jen Psaki’s Physical Health After Her Statement That Biden Is “Hard to Keep Up With” The Babylon Bee 7 Jun 21 443 4
Dr. Fauci Gets in Heated Debate With Seventeen Previous Versions of Himself The Babylon Bee 1 Jun 21 1016 3
Satan Announces Masks Will Still Be Required in Hell "The number of masks you have to wear corresponds to the circle of Hell you reside in" The Babylon Bee 19 May 21 415 1
Liberal Gets Mask Tattooed on His Face So No One Will Think He’s One of Those Crazy Republicans The Babylon Bee 17 May 21 597 3
CDC Says You No Longer Have to Wear a Life Jacket Outside in Case of Rain The Babylon Bee 16 May 21 507 2
Our Benevolent Empire US Criticized for Withdrawing Troops From Afghanistan While Just 50 Years From Victory The Babylon Bee 7 May 21 688 5
10 Ways to Feel Morally Superior to Everyone When Masks Are No Longer Required Declare a climate emergency and switch to an all-bug diet. Also, be rich and drive an electric car The Babylon Bee 5 May 21 437 2
CDC Now Recommends Wearing a Seat Belt Even When You’re Outside the Car The Babylon Bee 29 Apr 21 1714 8
All Scientists Forced to Retire After Realizing the Science Is Now Settled The Babylon Bee 27 Apr 21 1703 3
Popular New Mask Reads “I’m Not a Democrat, I Just Forgot to Take Off My Mask When I Left the Store” The Babylon Bee 21 Apr 21 300 1
Ron Paul Disguises Federal Reserve as Nike Store In Hopes Rioters Will Burn It Down The Babylon Bee 20 Apr 21 4227 16
Pope Announces Vaccine Selfies Can Now Be Turned in to Spring a Relative Out of Purgatory According to sources, the indulgence is good for the Pfizer and Moderna vaccines only. The Babylon Bee 16 Apr 21 710 5
‘It Is Still Not Safe to Go Outside,’ Says Fauci’s Head in a Jar in Year 2739 The Babylon Bee 14 Apr 21 538 2
For Maximum Protection, Vaccine Now Offered in Continuous IV Drip You Carry Around for the Rest of Your Life The Babylon Bee 13 Apr 21 460 4
As COVID Numbers Dwindle, Desperate Fauci Begins Eating Bats "At publishing time, Fauci was seen at a local Walmart licking all the doorknobs" The Babylon Bee 9 Apr 21 710 3
Stay Classy MSM 60 Minutes Releases Exclusive Secret Photos of Ron Desantis Clubbing Baby Seals With Hitler "It would appear from these completely undoctored photographs, that Ron DeSantis is both a fan of clubbing baby seals and a Nazi" The Babylon Bee 7 Apr 21 653 2
The Bromance Continues: Biden Lets Obama Pilot Drone Into Syria for Old Times’ Sake The Babylon Bee 29 Mar 21 465 3
US: Most Popular Career Choice Now “Professional Stimulus Check Recipient” The Babylon Bee 21 Mar 21 437 3
Liberal Obediently Awaits CDC Instructions on Whether It’s OK for Him to Breathe Shallow breaths only The Babylon Bee 14 Mar 21 470 5
Empire at Home ‘I Sure Am Glad I Don’t Live in One of Those Banana Republics,’ Says Man as He Walks by Wall Indefinitely Surrounding Capitol "It feels good to live in a country ruled for the people and by the people" The Babylon Bee 11 Mar 21 638 4
