As COVID Numbers Dwindle, Desperate Fauci Begins Eating Bats "At publishing time, Fauci was seen at a local Walmart licking all the doorknobs" The Babylon Bee 9 Apr 21 557 2
Stay Classy MSM 60 Minutes Releases Exclusive Secret Photos of Ron Desantis Clubbing Baby Seals With Hitler "It would appear from these completely undoctored photographs, that Ron DeSantis is both a fan of clubbing baby seals and a Nazi" The Babylon Bee 7 Apr 21 562 2
The Bromance Continues: Biden Lets Obama Pilot Drone Into Syria for Old Times’ Sake The Babylon Bee 29 Mar 21 383 3
US: Most Popular Career Choice Now “Professional Stimulus Check Recipient” The Babylon Bee 21 Mar 21 402 3
Liberal Obediently Awaits CDC Instructions on Whether It’s OK for Him to Breathe Shallow breaths only The Babylon Bee 14 Mar 21 457 5
Empire at Home ‘I Sure Am Glad I Don’t Live in One of Those Banana Republics,’ Says Man as He Walks by Wall Indefinitely Surrounding Capitol "It feels good to live in a country ruled for the people and by the people" The Babylon Bee 11 Mar 21 617 4
Experts Warn Lifting Mask Mandates Could Contribute to Dangerous Spread of Freedom The Babylon Bee 7 Mar 21 606 3
Low Bars Texas Governor Hailed as Conservative Hero for Ending Unconstitutional Mandates He Implemented The Babylon Bee 5 Mar 21 450 2
Teachers Unions Say Schools Cannot Reopen Until We Are Safe From Our Kids Ever Having a Future The Babylon Bee 27 Feb 21 394 3
Dr. Fauci Reminds Everyone We Will Only Have to Wear Masks Until Humans Evolve Organic Face Coverings at Birth The Babylon Bee 25 Feb 21 566 3
Bill Gates Warns of the Sacrifices We’ll Have to Make in Stirring Speech Given From His 650 Million Dollar Super Yacht “I wanted a 500ft, 1 billion-dollar mega yacht, but I settled for this clunker just to show how committed I am to the cause” The Babylon Bee 21 Feb 21 200 10
Cuomo-19 Touching: Cuomo Sends Signed Copies of His Book to the Families of Nursing Home Victims "I heard that some people in my state lost some loved ones in nursing homes. I thought to myself, 'Aw... that's too bad. Maybe I'll send them a free copy of my book to cheer them up!'" The Babylon Bee 20 Feb 21 33 1
The Flat Curve Society Shocking Video From Just One Week Ago Shows Majority of Americans Wearing Only One Mask "I'm sick to my stomach watching the carnage unfold in this horrific footage. Thousands of grandma-killers were walking among us undetected only one short week ago" The Babylon Bee 15 Feb 21 30 4
CDC: ‘Just Because You Got the Vaccine Doesn’t Mean You Should Go Outside or Ever Experience Joy Again’ The Babylon Bee 11 Feb 21 675 3
Nation Prepares to Celebrate 1st Anniversary of Two Weeks to Flatten the Curve The Babylon Bee 10 Feb 21 549 3
Democrats Announce It Is Safe to Reopen Now That Federal Government Has Tested Negative for Trump The Babylon Bee 4 Feb 21 1286 4
Scientists Predict Humans Will Simply Be Giant Rolling Balls of Masks by 2024 A competing study found that the entire earth will just be a big ball of masks hurtling around the solar system The Babylon Bee 2 Feb 21 1885 2
Democrats Announce Lockdowns Can Be Lifted Now That the Trump Virus Has Been Defeated Trump-2016 is unlikely to make a comeback The Babylon Bee 28 Jan 21 564 4
Triple-Masker Looks Down on People Who Only Double Mask “I guess I’d only double mask if I didn’t really care about not killing grandma” The Babylon Bee 27 Jan 21 566 2
White House Press Corps Wears New Cheerleading Uniforms to Press Briefing The Babylon Bee 23 Jan 21 670 5
Nation’s Liberals Point Out Conservatives Could Always Leave Earth, Make Free Society on Some Other Planet The Babylon Bee 22 Jan 21 336 4
‘Skynet Is a Private Company, They Can Do What They Want,’ Says Man Getting Curb-Stomped by Terminator “If you don’t want cold, heartless, killer robots destroying all humans indiscriminately, then you can go and make your own artificial intelligence.” The Babylon Bee 19 Jan 21 1721 19
