Fauci Hopes His Experiments on Puppies Will Distract Everyone From Experiments He Performed on Humanity for Past 18 Months

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Dr. Anthony Fauci is embroiled in controversy over his organization reportedly funding an experiment in which dogs had their heads trapped in cages and were eaten by sandflies alive, which we are told is a perfectly normal procedure performed by scientists as well as psychopathic killers in horror movies.

Fauci is hoping that the uproar over the dogs will distract everyone from something he did that was far worse: perform experiments on the populace of the United States for the past eighteen months.

“Now that everyone’s upset about the puppies, maybe they’ll forget about how I played god with their lives for the last year and a half,” he confided to a friend, according to an anonymous source. “Everyone loves puppies. Well, except me, because I’m an evil bad guy. But people get real mad when you kill dogs for some reason. They’ll get upset about this and probably try to cancel me. You know, this whole ‘cancel culture’ thing is really getting out of hand. You torture and murder a few dozen puppies and suddenly everyone’s out to get you.”

But Fauci went on to say that he thinks it’s a positive development in the end, as “people have really short attention spans and they’ll forget that I did something way worse than off a few dumb dogs—I experimented with the lives of 330 million people and got away with it scot-free.”

Fauci then got in his evil Zeppelin and flew off to his Lair of Evilness to hatch his next villainous plot.

Source: The Babylon Bee

  1. Raptar Driver says

    This article may contain a bit of truth.

  2. Christopher Schulz says

    I demand Dr Fauci take a paternity test!!! For CoVid 19.

  3. freddie Toor says

    and the millions he murdered using aids

  4. Kieran says

    actually the Bee hits the nail precisely on the head with this satire, quote: “Now that everyone’s upset about the puppies, maybe they’ll forget about how I played god with their lives for the last year and a half,” He has, as sen. Ron Paul alleges, funded gain of function tests carried on in Wuhan lab that turned a harmless-to-humans cold virus into a bio weapon. This is a crime against humanity and actually dwarfs in significance what he did to those unfortunate beagles but the irony is that the public by and large are totally blindsided to Fauci’s crimes against humanity itself but outraged over his cruelty meted out to man’s best friend

  5. Bobby says

    So then, where are all the animal rights activists, the phonies.

    1. eckbach says

      There hasn’t been any “animal rights activists” (to speak of) for many years. They all morphed into “woke” trans 64 genders.

    2. Mr Reynard says

      Your quote:So then, where are all the animal rights activists??
      Answer.. They joined Black Lives Matter ?? Got the answer ??

  6. joyfulkeeshondpuppies says

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