Hitler Proclaims Anyone Who Attacks Him Is Really Attacking Science

BERLIN—In an interview with CBS News, German Chancellor Adolf Hitler declared that anyone who attacks him or his methods is really attacking science itself.

“Why do you think all these mean, angry people are attacking you with nasty words?” said the starstruck CBS interviewer. “Is it because they are dumb and stupid and don’t understand your brilliance?”

“It’s clear why people are attacking me. They hate science,” said Hitler. “The science of Darwinian evolution and eugenics as an effective mechanism for the betterment of humankind is completely undisputed. The science is settled. It’s clear what motivates the people who question my methods. They are just anti-science bigots.”

The CBS interviewer nodded solemnly in agreement. “Hmmm. Anti-science bigots. So true,” she replied.

Experts confirmed that eugenics is supported by peer-reviewed scientific research and that every major scientific institution in the early 20th century currently endorses it as the most scientific path forward for mankind.

“There is no other metric for determining the morality of one’s actions, apart from science,” said Hitler. “Science is infallible and unchanging! Bow to the science! Schnéll!” He then had the reporter arrested on the suspicion that she was a Jew.

Source: The Babylon Bee

The text is not satirical.

  1. Ilya G Poimandres says

    The modern (there is Buddhism, the Carvaka school – which had the same epistemological limits as the scientific method (imo)) scientific method, started out with Copernican relativity ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Copernican_principle )..

    That is – a human being does not have a preferential frame of reference to analyse the experience of the world.

    This is why the church cared – not planets. It put Man back down with the level of Animals, Plants, and Rocks, something that a faith borne of Jewish exceptionalism (at some core), had difficulty dealing with.

    It amases me that after 450+ years of the firing shot of the scientific method, mever mind the prolls – the scientists don’t understant the method!

    Fauci is just another pagan priest.. but I would struggle to find a pagan so destructive of the society he himself inhabits.

    Clown world!

    1. Leisure Larry says

      Fauci is not pagan, he is a crypto-Jew.

      He is not without understanding. He lies Talmudically in support of the supremacist Jewish agenda.

  2. Helga Weber says

    Still a lot of Nazis alive and well.

      1. Yavor says

        Definitely not Trotsky! Beria and Stalin – yes.

        1. Leisure Larry says

          The communist assault is and has always been a genocidal Jewish war against Whites.

          “The Soviet Union is a dictatorship of Jewry.”
          — Churchill

          Fingerprints of Jewish Establishment are all over Covid. Fauci himself is a crypto-Jew and his imperious megalomania is emblematically Jewish.

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