In Victory Speech, Biden Assures Americans Elections Were ‘Mostly Legitimate’

Very legitimate President-elect Joe Biden assured all Americans in his victory speech last Saturday night that the elections held nationwide were “mostly legitimate.” His comments come as a rebuke to those who were saying totally baseless things about voter fraud, illegal ballots being counted, and poll workers counting ballots in a boarded-up building with no oversight.

“It’s time to put away the harsh rhetoric, to lower the temperature, to see each other, to listen to each other again,” Biden said. “Well, everyone who accepts this totally legit election—I mean, c’mon man. Everything was by the book.”

All election experts and hosts from CNN, MSNBC, CBS, NPR, and the AP immediately backed up every point of Joe Biden’s speech condemning the few scattered millions of people who still had some lingering doubts.

“You want to know how I know those stories about tabulation software glitches and dead people voting are part of a disinformation campaign?” asked CNN’s Brian Stelter on his program. “Facebook and Twitter are censoring them. That’s how you know what’s real and what’s not.”

“Just listen to the election experts and people censoring other points of view like me,” he added.

At publishing time, rumors about the Trump campaign filing several lawsuits disputing the election results were being censored by social media companies.

Source: The Babylon Bee

Text may contain traces of satire.

  1. Jasonovich says

    Creepy looking guy, small dark eyes embedded deep into his skull like the devil. Is he still molesting young girls?

  2. cap960 says

    The media is telling us to trust FB, Twitter and them because they know better and said so.. wow. They think we are idiots.

  3. cechas vodobenikov says

    corruption legitimized:hunter Biden appointed DEA director
    MSDNC celebrates

  4. Mark Trail says

    Somebody out there probably has the ways and means to hack into the msm and broadcast truth in real time. Override Big Brother and the constant lies. Wouldn’t that be both shocking and brilliant if somebody or a group could do that live?

  5. Saint Jimmy (Russian American) says

    The elections are as legitimate as coked-up Hunter’s baby with that Arkansas stripper ho he was fucking. Now that daddy is Emperor, little Hunter can get international stripper ho ass.

    1. zonmoy says

      wonder how many foreign companies hunter will get on the board of in order to take payoffs for daddy now.

      1. Saint Jimmy (Russian American) says

        Pretty much any position he wants. You know, it’s his expertise. Just ask some Navy people.

  6. Canosin says

    brilliant thesis

  7. AmounRah ✔️ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ says

    Can’t wait for this to blow up…..and then get slapped together with the fake “Russia h4x0r3d our elektions!” story. Dems are done.

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