Kamala Harris Recalls How as a Little Girl She Helped Slaves Escape on the Undewgwound Wailwoad

U.S.—Kamala Harris chuckles as she tells the story. Not the chuckle of an insincere politician making up a story to appeal to her base, but the chuckle of a warm, loving woman. The kind of chuckle you would chuckle while hanging out with your family or locking up non-violent drug offenders for decades.

She recalled in her interview with The Babylon Bee how as a little girl she helped slaves escape to the North on the “undewgwound wailwoad.” (Did we mention how warm and sincere she was? It was like talking to your best bud).

“My parents were pushing me in a stroller,” she says, cackling — no, chuckling — “and I must have gotten loose somehow.” (At the time, there weren’t any safety regulations on strollers, so this is not her parents’ fault, just to be clear). “Anyway, I wandered away down to the Deep South and began helping slaves get to the free states. When my parents found me years later, they were understandably upset. They said, ‘Kamala! What are you doing!?'”

She chuckled again.

“I replied, ‘I’m hewping swaves escape on da undewground wailwoad, mommy!'” Harris then revealed that one of the slaves she helped escape grew up to be none other than Albert Einstein.

Harris, with her likable laugh and authentic demeanor, went on to tell the story of how she helped “Abwaham Winkon” draft the “Emancipation Pwocwamation” and how she refused to give up her seat on a bus, launching the “Civil wights” movement.

Source: The Babylon Bee

Text may contain traces of satire.

  1. Nigel Soden says

    hahaha… what a genuine lier

    1. Kieran DSouza says

      is the mispelling intentional? because she did lie her way to the top in more ways than one

      1. Vonu says

        You must be new to The Babylon Bee…

  2. ken says

    I’m sure she is a legend in her own mind. (not satire)

  3. yuri says

    fully reflects the amerikan people
    “amerikan parents lie to their children; amerikan children lie to their parents—it is expected”. Geoffrey Gorer
    “amerikans have been liars and braggarts for 3 centuries”. Daniel Boorstin
    “the men Americans most admire tell them the most extravagant lies: the men they most despise try to tell them the truth”. HL menkhen
    “Obama’s job is to lie to a nation of liars”. Kiese Laymon

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