10 Ways to Feel Morally Superior to Everyone When Masks Are No Longer Required

Declare a climate emergency and switch to an all-bug diet. Also, be rich and drive an electric car

Masks have been the greatest way for us to distinguish between morally superior people and all the evil selfish people. But how will the world know what a good person you are when masks are no longer required? Don’t worry fam– we here at The Babylon Bee are morality experts. We got you.

Here are 10 easy ways to keep feeling morally superior once the pandemic is over:

Never stop wearing a mask as long as you live: This is probably the simplest solution. Wear your mask forever. Breathe in that sweet, sweet, moral superiority and CO2.

Start a podcast about your time wearing a mask: Bring in co-hosts who also wore masks, and talk about how you wore masks. As a bonus, do it while wearing a mask.

Get a tattoo of your mask on your face: There’s no better way of reminding everyone how important masks used to be and how important you were for wearing one.

Start an HOA in your suburban neighborhood: Oh– you already started one? Of course you did!

Declare a climate emergency and switch to an all-bug diet: Bugs are the most morally superior thing to eat. Also, be rich and drive an electric car. Shame all people who do not do the same.

Punch a white male in the face every day: If you’re not already doing this, what the heck is wrong with you? Go punch a white male in his dumb white face!

Travel only by train for the rest of your life: Trains are more moral than cars. Don’t ask us why. We’re actually not sure why but we’re looking into it. If you don’t have a train nearby due to living in a racist Republican area, just ride a bike instead.

Drone strike a Middle-Eastern country: Obama, the Child of Light and Son of Hope did this often. Follow in the footsteps of Barack.

Become a Christian: Religious people are known for how morally superior they believe themselves to be. You’ll fit right in!

Become an atheist: If there’s anyone even more morally superior than a Christian, it’s an atheist!

Source: The Babylon Bee

Subscribe
Notify of
guest
2 Comments
Oldest
Newest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments

ken
ken
6 months ago

#11: If you had the shot, wear a mask with a syringe drawn on it,,, or wear a syringe earring. The rest of us will avoid you, thus you will be much safer!

face-mask 2.jpg
Richard
6 months ago

We should be Christian! For years the godless people have been in government and look where it has led us – to a living hell! What we need are biblical laws as found in the Holy Bible. Why do you think we’ve been cursed all these years? (Read chapter 28 in Deuteronomy.)

Anti-Empire