US Claims Drone Was Minding Own Business on Its Way to Church When Iran Attacked It out of Nowhere

"We’re talking about a drone that sings in the church choir and coaches little league baseball games on the weekends"

Maintaining that the unmanned aerial vehicle was simply going about its day without posing a threat to anyone, U.S. Department of State officials claimed Thursday that one of their drones was minding its own business on its way to church when Iran attacked it out of nowhere.

“This was an outrageous, unprovoked attack by the Islamic Republic of Iran on an innocent drone who merely wanted to attend mass in peace,” said acting Secretary of State Mike Pompeo, emphasizing the drone’s upstanding moral character by pointing out its history of donating to charity, volunteering at soup kitchens, and making homemade cookies for school bake sales.

“We’re talking about a drone that sings in the church choir and coaches little league baseball games on the weekends—an absolute pillar of the community. This is an upstanding family drone who did nothing to deserve any sort of attack. What kind of world do we live in where an innocent drone can’t fly through Iranian air space on its way to church?”

At press time, Department of Defense officials confirmed that their request for Iran to return the drone’s body back to the U.S. for a proper burial had gone unanswered.

Source: The Onion

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JustPassingThrough
JustPassingThrough
3 months ago

“We’re talking about a drone that sings in the church choir and coaches little league baseball games on the weekends”

yes, yes, and now it is experiencing rapture.
wow, it really works folks.

skinner15
skinner15
3 months ago

Debbie Harry must be making a fortune in royalties from these space cadets and their rapture.

Paul Brookes
Paul Brookes
3 months ago
Reply to  skinner15

More like rupture..

skinner15
skinner15
3 months ago
Reply to  Paul Brookes

Rupture, is what Fatboy Pompous is facing, in his colon.

Canosin
Canosin
3 months ago

harharharhar………this article made my day…..
“…..We’re talking about a drone that sings in the church choir and coaches little league baseball games on the weekends—an absolute pillar of the community…..”

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John C Carleton
John C Carleton
3 months ago

The Satanic Church of the yankee “puritans”, or the Satanic Church of the pedophilic Khazariaqns Holocausting the Semitic Palestinians while stealing their Land?

Anti-Empire