Unruly Muscovites Caught Having Barbecues & Enjoying Life. Now They Need QR-Codes to Go Outside
Welcome to Sobyanin's COVID gulag!
An entire book could be written about what has transpired in the past three days in Russia. A week ago state media organs were gloating about how the Kremlin had curb-stomped coronavirus, how the capital was open and free and beautiful, compared to the bed-wetting West, where the panicky proles were fighting over toilet paper rolls.
A recap: Rat Mayor Sergey Sobyanin urged Muscovites to stay home starting on Saturday. They didn’t. Instead they went to the parks, had barbecues, were drinking and walking and enjoying the sunshine. Acting like sane humans, basically.
Hours later, this:
Muscovites are now allowed to leave their homes only for the following reasons:
- Seeking medical assistance or help for some other life-threatening emergency
- Going to work
- Shopping at the nearest open store or pharmacy
- Walking pets within 100 meters (109 yards) of their homes
- Disposing of garbage
In the city, the new restrictions take effect indefinitely on Monday, March 30.
Here’s the best part: Now you’ll need a special permit to leave your home. Moscow is developing a “smart control system.”
The “smart control system” mentioned by Sobyanin will require every resident in Moscow to register at the mayor’s office’s website and state where they actually live (as opposed to individuals’ officially registered home addresses). The system will then generate a unique QR-code for each person and these codes will function as an individual’s permit to leave their home. People will need to present these QR-codes to police officers upon request.
Rat Mayor Sobyanin also offered condolences to the newly unemployed:
“Unfortunately, many Muscovites are obviously losing their jobs in the current difficult situation. To help these people, we’re rolling out a special set of assistance measures,” added Sobyanin. As a first step, City Hall will start paying 19,500 rubles ($250) in monthly unemployment checks to out-of-work local residents. These payments will begin automatically, with no need to apply. Outside the city, the regional officials say they will start paying 15,000 rubles ($190) a month to unemployed locals.
You’d be lucky to find a cockroach-infested 1-room shithole for less than 20,000 rubles in Moscow. Forget food! That’s another 15k rubles a month, minimum, if you’re eating bread and butter [upon further consideration we must concede that it would probably be technically possible to live on 8k rubles a month, if you are eating strictly bread and butter].
And what about those who disobey the Rat Mayor?
Officials haven’t yet clarified what fines they will impose on those who violate the new restrictions. Under current laws, people face fines as high as 500 rubles ($6.35) for violating the city’s sanitary and epidemiological safety. On March 26, the federal government proposed revisions to Russia’s Administrative Procedural Code that would raise the penalties on breaking quarantine to 300,000 rubles ($3,800) for individuals and 1 million rubles ($12,700) for enterprises.
Estimates put average salaries in Moscow at 78,000 rubles ($1,207). This figure is extremely optimistic, though. At any rate: Three months of pay for refusing to Obey. Who would risk it, especially when businesses are already shut down and countless thousands now out of work?
A Muscovite of unequaled intelligence and charm noted to us after Sobyanin’s latest announcement: “We knew it was coming, so it’s not even surprising.”
A noble people, brought to their knees by state extortion.