Trump Adds ‘Black Lives Matter’ Sticker to SUV So Media Can’t Claim He’s Spreading COVID


In what’s being hailed as a 14-dimensional Go move, President Trump added a Black Lives Matter decal to his SUV so he can take as many trips outside the hospital as he wants, and the media won’t be able to claim he’s spreading COVID.

“Checkmate,” Trump said as he smiled and waved to reporters. “This is fantastic. Now, if I want to go grab a milkshake from the McDonald’s drive-thru — bam, Black Lives Matter sticker. Can’t touch me. Can’t criticize me. It’s beautiful. Tremendous, really.”

With his newfound freedom, Trump instructed his motorcade to drive around the city. The president waved at supporters — referred to as “peaceful protesters” — and stopped at the drive-in to catch Tenet. He even shared a bucket of popcorn with Secret Service agents, and not a single reporter was able to claim he was spreading the virus, thanks to his handy decal.

“Well, that was a bust,” Trump said as his Chevy Suburban pulled out of the movie theater to take him back to the hospital. “That didn’t make any sense at all. Did I need to understand Interstellar to make heads or tails of that? What a terrible movie. We should have seen Trolls.”

Source: The Babylon Bee

  1. didactic1 says

    Well done. Something in Spanish next?

  2. David Bedford says

    The Babylon Bee is starting to outdo The Onion.

  3. ke4ram says

    What a terrible disease…. took 3 days to get over it. Need vaccinated or we’re all gonna die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  4. Saint Jimmy (Russian American) says

    Hilarious. They should have put it on upside down.

  5. disqus_3BrONUAJno says

    It will make it easier to tell which of the 3 he is in.

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