To Save Time, Ghislaine Maxwell Just Lists the Hollywood Celebs and Politicians Who Didn’t Visit Epstein Island

The trial of Ghislaine Maxwell is underway but began to get bogged as Maxwell listed the names of people who had flown on Lolita Express and visited Epstein Island. Now, in order to save time, she will just list the names of Hollywood celebs and politicians who didn’t.

“Um, there are only, like 3 or 4 who didn’t,” said Maxwell, looking at the ceiling. “Let’s see, there’s, uh… Mel Gibson and Kirk Cameron… oh yeah, Keanu Reeves. Ron Paul. There were a few others, but that’s most of the big ones, I think.”

With this new testimony, almost every single elite celebrity and politician has been outed as a sex predator, confirming what every person on earth already suspected.

According to sources, FBI leadership in D.C. was going to open investigations into the political and Hollywood elites implicated in the testimony, but they quickly dropped all cases once they remembered that they themselves were also creepy sex predators who had visited Epstein Island.

Americans are demanding the firing of every politician in government and replacing all of them with Keanu Reeves.

Source: The Babylon Bee

5 Comments
  1. Ragheadthefiendlyterrorist says

    This isn’t really satire. You can’t write satire anymore these days.

  2. Jerry Hood says

    Don’t lie to us! This jewish bitch& pedophile is held and navigated to destroy Donald Trump!!! TruNews.com…

    1. TZVI says

      Yes she ( maxwell) is a liar, you must be to be an asset like she was… at the very least this is an exaggeration on the # who did not succumb to the blackmail operation.

      Trump brought himself down…boffing P0rn stars instead ( or in addition to) his wonderful wife. A scoundrel who made it big with a casinos and slinked out on obligations with bankruptcy…maybe a patriot, but never clean.

      1. TZVI says

        Opps Babylon Bee, OK I got snagged on MAxwell, in any case lots of politicians did get entrapped, makes it easy to control them.

  3. Jerry Hood says

    Visiting pedos on the island of child torture: mostly satanic jews like the Clintons,Dershowits paedos, or corrupted by the satanic jews, like shabbaz goy Trump…
    It is about shabbaz goy Trump, whom the Ghislaine Hoch, aka Max-well is going to frame up and fry!!!

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