The Pentagon Adopts New ‘Winning Isn’t Everything Motto’

 After decades of wars in which decisive victory and a coherent purpose were often elusive, the Department of Defense announced it has adopted a new motto: “Winning Isn’t Everything.”

“Moving forward, it’s important for us to try and enjoy the process, rather than focus on the outcome of international conflict,” Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin said at a Pentagon press conference. “You win some, you lose some. At the end of the day, we can go home with our heads held high knowing that at least we tried.”

Military leaders from every branch of service were quick to announce their support for the motto.

“Sometimes when you’re cruisin’ down that highway that is war, you just gotta lean back, feel the wind in your high and tight, and try to enjoy the ride,” said Chairman of the Joint Chiefs Gen. Mark Milley. “It’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey, man. That’s what this new motto means to me.”

The path to creating the motto wasn’t an easy one: The Pentagon funded a 10-year study and experimented with a number of obviously doomed strategies to refine it.

But in the end, it was a handful of self-help blogs and 1990s sports dramas that convinced Pentagon leadership that the U.S. military’s best path was to stop stressing about winning, and start focusing on living.

“There’s no reason we shouldn’t be able to blow each other to smithereens out on the battlefield then shake hands and have a beer afterward,” said Austin. “That’s just good sportsmanship.”

Military leaders also noted that win or lose, we all learned some important lessons.

And aside from a few hundred thousand casualties on either side, “we’ll all live to fight another day.”

“No matter who comes out on top,” said Austin, “we should all be able to watch our global hegemony crumble knowing that we did our best.”

Source: The Duffel Blog

Text may contain traces of satire

  1. Kevin e & Lisa r Coleman says

    signs and symptoms of the absents of any leadership or vision in the dod!

  2. WilliamtheResolute says

    Interpretation: The military command are traitors, they have adopted the Big Pharma strategy, don’t cure the illness just develop a treatment that keeps the patient alive and costs a lot of money. Besides the U.S. corporatocracy doesn’t want to fight/defeat China, that’s where the Globalist scum they protect have invested all our tax money for decades…when not funding weapons platforms that don’t work.

  3. WilliamtheResolute says

    This is either the onion or a CIA honey pot…jus sayin.

  4. Pablo says

    Winning wars was never the US War Machine’s Policy. Profiteering was, is and always will be it’s REAL Policy. Note how expensive–just to give one example–the F-35 has been for the American Taxpayer. Endless cost overruns. And expensive ones at that. How the Pentagon can still exist even though it has over $26 TRILLION missing shows you just how deeply corrupt the entire System is in Washington D.C. As an aside, note how there is no Media coverage on the missing $26 Trillion. The biggest THEFT in History and no mention of it in the American Press.

  5. Kathy Christian says

    Patton must be turning in his grave. It’s not so hard to figure out what the outcome of WWII would have been with this mentality, heh?

    1. TheTruthBurns says

      That’s why they Murdered him & made it look like a “Car Accident” because he didn’t take any BS.

    2. yuri says

      USA had zero to do w WWII
      USSR defeated Germany and Japan

  6. Francis Acosta says

    It was in the early 50’s that criminals rounded up in “Operation Paperclip” entered and then took control of our Defense Department, State Department and much more. This is who is referred to as the “Deep” or “Permanent” state.

  7. TheTruthBurns says

    Pussified Pilots, Pregnant Vagina Brigades, Transgender Troop Teams, Soy Boy Special Forces & Fierce Fashion Foot Soldiers – Welcome to The Militariat of The Disunited States of Unamericunts Where Winning Isn’t Everything & FEELINGS are Everything!

  8. sylvia says

    Please tell me this is a joke, right? And just where do they think the recruits are coming from?

    1. Jeff Martin says

      Marines say that they will need less troops so are culling the herd. Will use more drones and such. Recruits will come from fat boys in their Mama’s basement that are really good at video games. Overall military recruitment is way down because of unhealthy obesity and drug use. And low ASVAB scores (think government education).

    2. Jaded Flower says

      The rates of rape and physical assault (male & female) far above civilian percentages is reason enough for many not to join. Results of a decadent and crumbling society.

    3. lee says

      with what is “coming” recruitment will be the least of the problems, and, it is not war.

  9. Gary S Hines says

    To me this sounds like complete horse shit
    What they are saying and implying is two different things but their you that war is inedible and it will be nuclear the only problem is that their will be thousands or millions of people no longer around .because of our insane military who wants war with Russia at all cost.

  10. US Sailor says

    the duffle blog is a satire website. All just comedy news not actually factual. Being in the military it is a great website to laugh. Im a corpsman is the USN

    1. Jeff Martin says

      Art imitating life. A grain of truth, my friend. Thanks for your service.

    2. yuri says

      Macdonalds not hiring?


    yeah and with their winning streak
    that is a compliment
    so bring your sorry army against the American Patriots
    and get your butts handed to you in your own streets
    like the little girls you are
    with an army like yours
    you might as well bend over

  12. RLN says

    Translation: We don’t plan to win the war, just fight one. So what if a lot of us are dead afterward? We’ll all go home and have a beer together. wow.

  13. Fred says

    Oh, so wars from the Korean to the current CF in Afghanistan is all about the experience? What to the families of the dead and maimed think? Yeah, no one asked, so what else is new? Thanks GOP for agreeing to put these POS in office on 6 Jan 2021!

  14. Jaded Flower says

    We just need the story with Van Halen playing in the background, “ease the seat back”. Anyone who can be honest about the global economic role of the US military knows it’s a machine of material resource conquest for the oligarchs. The “fighting for freedom” propaganda hasn’t been true since 1812, if even then.

  15. GMC says

    It was always about the Poppy Farms, Rare Earth Minerals, and NWO Geography, and we are talkin Trillions and Trillions of un declared US dollars and Euros. Plus Gold Silver , Platinum etc. etc. etc. Afghanistan’s wealth for the US Military was larger than the US/ Columbian Cocaine business. And 50% of the US inmates are there because of Dope. The only Dope is the American public.

  16. yuri says

    “amerikans are ignorant and unteachable”. George Santayana
    USA loses all wars unless vs Grenada
    participation awards—more evidence of amerikan insecurity

  17. Jerry Hood says

    With the new Age of Sun, new colonists on North America appeared. 1st,it were the Black ” Olmecs”( Jaguar people), then Sun Age wiped them out…Then came the Red Indian colonists, but new Age of Sun swept them away also… Now are there the White colonists from Europe,and their mutated descendands…And another Age of Sun is ahead of them…In 2033 settles in,Novus Ordo Seclorum…And Codex Zouche-Nuttall, page 36, clearly display the next colonists in North America: the Yellow Chinese,taking over the Golden Age! Therefore, don’t be suprised that USrael is collapsing and dying horse with some violent kicks…Senile,illegal squatter in the White House is dying with it!

  18. Afshin nejat says

    “every wtf meme in existence taken to the nth semantic dimension”.jpg

  19. lee says

    you have to be joking?, “at least we tried”, more like, you created the way for the only future that exists for our civilisation to make it off planet and into the stars, you didn’t fail, you over achieved by a country mile.

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