The Confessions of a Sad, Degenerate Covid Snitch

MSM running informant's tales like it's nothing

Editor’s note: This is the degenerate state of the press and the dark, rotten soul of the Covid Rouge. May they go to hell!

I couldn’t sleep. After reading a New York Times article by three Penn doctors saying that a return to normalcy from the COVID-19 pandemic was not weeks but months away, I couldn’t calm down.

Tossing and turning for over an hour, I finally started to drift into a soft slumber shortly before midnight when I heard loud thumping music coming from the house next door. Mixed with muffled voices was the same bass-dropping dance music that every college fraternity party plays on an endless loop. And tonight, my neighbors had decided to hold their own version of those grossly sweaty beer-filled ragers — at a time when we were all supposed to be self-isolating.

I sat up in bed, charged with anger. I’d seen enough Snapchat and Instagram stories of friends crowding bars for St. Patrick’s Day celebrations last weekend to have little tolerance for those ignoring the threat of the coronavirus. But what good does sitting alone in my apartment every night do if my neighbors insist on literally partying like it’s the end of the world?

Remembering an email from the Penn administration warning that students would face discipline from the Penn Police for hosting any risky gatherings on or around campus at this time, I made a snap decision to put an end to the party. 

That’s right, I called the police.

Five minutes later, a few officers arrived at the door of my neighbors’ house. Officers knocked on the door and rang the doorbell, but no one inside could hear over the music, or maybe the residents simply chose to ignore it. The party went on for another two hours.

Truthfully, I don’t know how many people were at the party, and there’s a chance it could’ve been a relatively small gathering. Why, then, was I so quick to adopt a holier-than-thou attitude [because you’re a sad degenerate??] and call the cops in an effort to enforce my version of social distancing (reading books alone next to an endless amount of snacks)?

Maybe it’s because of videos like this one, filled with Miami spring breakers who refuse to quit partying, even as the city’s beaches and bars start to close. Maybe it’s because I see so many reports of young people taking advantage of lower flight fares and scheduling needless vacations. But maybe it’s simply because the widespread disparities in the way people are reacting to the pandemic scare me. 

What kind of social distancing is and isn’t allowed? The bad press around persistent party-goers right now makes me know getting drunk in huge crowds isn’t okay. But what about a group of ten or fifteen older men playing chess together in Clark Park, like those I saw on my walk to the grocery store Thursday afternoon? I certainly wouldn’t call the cops on them.

In times of crisis, I’m often inflexible with my protocols and quick to admonish those who don’t follow them. I told my parents to limit their grocery store trips to once a week at most, and avoid leaving the house for anything else as much as possible. I told my youngest sister that she shouldn’t leave to hang out with her high school friends, even if it’s only in their house.

But here in Philadelphia, among those of my college friends who chose to stay in their apartments, I’m tempted to break my own rules. I flicker between anxious cop-calling moods and ones where I want to show up with takeout on my friends’ doorsteps and act like everything is normal. I tell myself it’s okay to feel like this so long as I don’t act on it, for the sake of my health and for that of my friends.

The problem is, not a lot of other people seem to be thinking like that. Instead of going to restaurants, people are picnicking together in parks. Instead of going to bars, people host parties at their own homes.

Seeing everyone out and about in large groups enjoying the warm weather made me feel stupid for calling the police on my neighbors’ party. Besides the Penn administration, am I the only one who really cares about actual self-isolation?

I hope not.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy to see that people aren’t losing spirit in the midst of these difficult times. I love seeing families enjoy dinner together on their front porch or people reading books alone on their doorsteps, but I get the feeling that many of us still don’t fully understand what social distancing is — and why we need to do it.

Social distancing means cutting yourself off from all unnecessary face-to-face contact. It means that even though one of my best friends lives in an apartment across the street, I shouldn’t walk over and have dinner with her right now. It means that we need to get used to saying no to in-person events instead of finding loopholes in the new pandemic policies.

So maybe, then, I was right to call the Penn Police on that party. Because the longer we defy the new rules of social distancing and self-isolation, the scarier the consequences of this pandemic become.

Source: Philadelphia Magazine

  1. Scruff Scruffeton says

    Snitches get stitches.

  2. Sink Chicken says

    1st amendment “right to peacefully assemble”. Look it up.

  3. h5mind says

    I live in London, which is supposed to be an epicenter. I frequently pass by several local hospitals, including where our Prime Minister was recently treated. They were all ghost towns. No sirens, no lines of fearful being tested for virus, no piles of dead stacked like cord wood. This is ‘The Emperor’s New Clothes’ of pandemics. And just like in that fairytale, if you can’t see anything it must mean there’s something wrong with you. The con artists- I mean governments- would never deceive us, right? Next to fear, social isolation is their preferred method to keep us living like mushrooms, where we live literally and figuratively in the dark.

    1. Skoolafish says

      I have been sharing that Hans Christian Andersen theme far and wide with a variation on theme – “The Emperor has no Cold”. I think the weavers could be Gates and Fauci.

      1. h5mind says

        10 gold stars for you. Glad to hear not everyone has been lobotomised.

  4. purple_persuader says

    virus or no virus you disturb my peace by being an asshole with loud music I’m going to do something about it.

    1. Bill Jackson says

      You don’t know any of the particulars, jerk

    2. Cryingfag says

      I’m sure you’re crying to mom is going to be brutal

    3. disqus_3BrONUAJno says

      In other words, you are going to disturb the peace of all of the rest of your neighbors?

  5. Al Carbone says

    white women who are not chained in the kitchen are the most destructive force unleashed onto the US since its founding

    1. Mary E says

      Just what are they destroying, pray tell? A GOP planning party that needs destroying?

      1. Genghis Gobi says

        Al Carbone is a racist, sexist ball or slime with no brain cells.

        1. Cryingfag says

          You tend to get bitter when noone will fuck you. I find it hilarious

          1. Genghis Gobi says

            Showed your comment to my girlfriend. She found it hilarious.

            1. Cryingfag says

              Ok dude. I don’t know what’s funnier. That you couldn’t figure out by context I was talking about Al. Or that you replied with the Meg griffin, my totally real girlfriend said. Yikes slick

            2. Genghis Gobi says

              Since you replied to me, not Carbone, the problem wasn’t at my end.

            3. Cryingfag says

              Hahaha keep telling yourself that meg

            4. Genghis Gobi says

              I’m sure you feel very proud of coming up with that 🙄

      2. Al Carbone says

        go home to your wine bottles and cats you miserable fat bitch

  6. XRGRSF says

    This is just an example of what will happen when they come for your guns. Not only will your neighbors rat you out, but your own family will join in.

    1. Al Carbone says

      that is because the anti gun jews brainwashed (with an enema) coward gun owners that the 2nd is about hunting and self defense. do they really believe without super markets refrigerators and freezers you had to get permission from the govt to hunt. or if you were attacked by Indians you would have to have an amendment in the constitution to allow you to fight back

    2. itchyvet says

      People who lived thru WW 2, will tell you this is exactly what happened back then, even kids were encouraged to dob in their own parents for breaching protocol rules, and they did. BUT, getting back the the article, just because there was loud thumping music next door, does not mean they were breaching anything. For all the author knew, it may have been a FAMILY partying. Families live together, and there’s no reason they can’t turn up the music and forget reality for a second or two.

  7. cechas vodobenikov says

    misery does love company

  8. disqus_3BrONUAJno says

    Never mind that several hundred thousand bikers partying in Sturgis only produced one excess death.

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