Soldier Excited to Take Over Father’s Old Afghanistan Patrol Route
FAYETTEVILLE, NC — Saying he “never could have imagined” he would have the opportunity to follow directly in his father’s footsteps, 19-year-old U.S. Army Pvt. Tyler Corcoran was reportedly excited Tuesday to take over his dad’s old patrol route in Afghanistan.
“It’s just so incredible that I’ll soon be walking the very same footpath as my old man, securing the perimeter of Camp Chapman in Khost Province just like he did so many years ago,” said Corcoran, who explained how, throughout his childhood, he had heard his father’s stories of guarding the forward operating base but never once considered that he would one day be traversing along the exact walls and securing the identical checkpoints his father had during his tours of duty.
“To think that I’ll be monitoring the road between the airstrip and detention facility that Dad always talked about, keeping an eye out for IEDs and any suspicious activity the same way he did all those years ago. Honestly, it’s hard to believe—but, wow, it’s really happening.”
At press time, a tear fell from Corcoran’s eye as he hugged his dad goodbye in the very same manner he remembered his father doing to him when he was a toddler.
Source: The Onion
Text may contain traces of satire.
When my boys were born in the mid 70s, my wife made me promise her, that I would try as hard as possible – not to send her sons to a Vietnam, like her husband and sooo many of his friends – had gone to. It’s one promise I kept to . Thank You Darlene.
His mother probably hugged and flirted with his friends.
Fool!
The book to read on the Israel Lobby–a place to start–is “The Israel Lobby and US Foreign Policy” by John Mersheimer and Stephen M. Walt. You won’t hear about this subject in the American MSM.
more satire? or backward stupidity?
Not really satire at all. I knew a female on Orkut whose boyfriend was an invader of Iraq but who was allegedly anti military. The last time I saw her, on Fakebook circa 2015, her son was an invader of Afghanistan.
More likely the latter.Without extensive marketing it would never have occurred to people that inhaling cigarette smoke into their lungs all the time is a nice thing to do.
Without extensive marketing it would never have occurred to people that Mountain Dew is something they should put into their bodies.
Without extensive marketing it would never have occurred to women that they should always feel somewhat to severely uncomfortable with the way they look.
Without extensive marketing it would never have occurred to women that slicing apart their bodies to be more attractive is something they should want.
Without extensive marketing it would never have occurred to people that women should not have pubic hair.
Without extensive marketing it would never have occurred to men to spend hours at the gym building up muscles they’ll never actually need to use.
Without extensive marketing it would never have occurred to people that they need to drive their car to a room where they run in place for thirty minutes and then drive home again.
Without extensive marketing it would never have occurred to people that fabric designed to cover the body can go “out of style”.
Without extensive marketing it would never have occurred to people to believe in an invisible patriarchal god whose church must be believed and funded on pain of eternal torture.
Without extensive marketing it would never have occurred to people that being overwhelmed at work means they need better stress management instead of better unions.
Without extensive marketing it would never have occurred to people that widespread depression and anxiety are a sign that they need to take more pills instead of a sign that they need to drastically change society.
Without extensive marketing it would never have occurred to people that something which grows in the ground should be illegal.
Without extensive marketing it would never have occurred to people that you could own land that you don’t live on and tend to.
Without extensive marketing it would never have occurred to people to worry about nations on the other side of the world who have never harmed them in any way.
Without extensive marketing it would never have occurred to people that they should accept their nation’s wealth and resources being continuously used to kill strangers in endless wars.
Without extensive marketing it would never have occurred to people that murdering human beings in other countries is a good career path for young people.
Without extensive marketing it would never have occurred to people that opaque military powers brandishing armageddon weapons at each other all the time is something we should allow to continue.
Without extensive marketing it would never have occurred to people that deliberately starving children whose government disobeys their government is no big deal.
Without extensive marketing it would never have occurred to people that human life should be spent and gambled like pennies over elite struggles for unipolar planetary domination.
Without extensive marketing it would never have occurred to people that it’s normal for some of them to become homeless or go without medical treatment because they don’t have the right amount of imaginary numbers in their bank account.
Without extensive marketing it would never have occurred to people that it’s normal to spend eight hours a day doing something you hate to no benefit other than the imaginary numbers in the bank accounts of shareholders.
Without extensive marketing it would never have occurred to people that humanity’s collective behavior should be governed by a desire to add more imaginary numbers to one’s bank account.
Without extensive marketing it would never have occurred to people to throw the entire ecosystemic context in which they evolved into the gears of a machine which generates imaginary numbers for their bank accounts.
Without extensive marketing it would never have occurred to people that scores of species going extinct forever every single day is not cause for extreme alarm.
Without extensive marketing it would never have occurred to people that a two-party system which promotes the same policies in both parties should be called “democracy”.
Without extensive marketing it would never have occurred to people that billionaire oligarchs in Silicon Valley should control how humans communicate around the world.
Without extensive marketing it would never have occurred to people that in order to give money to poor people, you should give it to rich people.
Without extensive marketing it would never have occurred to people that it’s fine for someone who works no harder than they do to make a thousand times as much.
Without extensive marketing it would never have occurred to people that their governments should pour money into massive corporations and the military but not into taking care of their own citizenry.
Without extensive marketing it would never have occurred to people that some humans are superior to other humans.
Without extensive marketing it would never have occurred to people that some people ought to have power over other people.
Without extensive marketing it would never have occurred to people that a few rich people should control the information that people consume which governs their thoughts, actions and votes.
Without extensive marketing it would never have occurred to people that any of this is normal.
Without extensive marketing it would never have occurred to people that the young should spend their childhoods in buildings where they are trained to believe that all this is normal.
Without extensive marketing it would never have occurred to people that they should spend hours staring at screens which train them to believe that all this is normal.
Without extensive marketing none of this madness would be possible at all.
The worst ignorance.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N294FMDok98&feature=emb_logo
“Text may contain traces of satire.”
Indeed, all of theonion.com is satire, but in this day and age the Onion is virtually indistinguishable from the main stream media…
Sad but true!
It appears that he is just as ignorant of the Constitution as his father is, as well.