Ron Paul Disguises Federal Reserve as Nike Store In Hopes Rioters Will Burn It Down

WASHINGTON, D.C.—According to sources, former representative Ron Paul was seen disguising the Federal Reserve building as a Nike store in hopes of getting BLM and Antifa rioters to burn the place down.

Shortly after the new sign was hung up, witnesses say a large crowd gathered outside to loot the building and then torch it.

“Hey kids!” the libertarian leader said to the crowd. “You wanna keep letting the central bankers borrow and print money until it has no value and the dollar collapses and our entire economy destroyed? Er, uh– I mean, look! It’s a Nike store! Let’s loot it!”

Rioters broke in but were disappointed to not find any cool sneakers. Instead, they just found stacks of paper and fancy Goldman Sachs fountain pens.

“Hey, what kind of a Nike store is this?” said one frustrated looter.

“This isn’t Nike, it’s something far worse,” replied Paul. “Have you ever heard of the Federal Reserve?”

The entire crowd then sat down on the floor cross-legged and listened intently to Ron Paul explain the horrors of central banking. Immediately after the speech, they burned down the Federal Reserve.

Source: The Babylon Bee

Text may contain traces of satire.

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ken
ken
24 days ago

Wow! Loved the ending!

Purchasing-Power-of-the-US-Dollar.jpg
joey_n
joey_n
23 days ago
Reply to  ken

The euro at the time of introduction had a €2 coin and a €500 note, as the US$500 bill has long been out of production and the US$2 coin does not exist (hell, they haven’t even replaced the $1 bill with a coin!). It’s probably no accident at this point that Saddam Hussein got executed for wanting to sell oil in euros instead of dollars.

Large Nuggets
Large Nuggets
23 days ago
Reply to  joey_n

@Joey-N…..There are lots of $1 coins. The Susan B. Anthony coins, and the Sacajawea coin, and the Presidential coins, for starters. All $1 coins.

joey_n
joey_n
23 days ago
Reply to  Large Nuggets

Well, yes, but not to the degree that every vending machine nationwide accepts them, let alone dispenses them as change.

eckbach
eckbach
23 days ago
Reply to  ken

The ending is zero.

Mr Reynard
Mr Reynard
24 days ago

Right behind you Ron ..

Juan
Juan
24 days ago

I’ll send all my monopoly money to Babylon Bee to help, uh, whatever.

Bubbaorwell
Bubbaorwell
24 days ago

Completely phone ending…”the rioters lynched Ron Paul for tricking them.”

Rabbitnexus
Rabbitnexus
23 days ago
Reply to  Bubbaorwell

You never know what these kids could do with a proper education.

John
John
24 days ago

If only this were so.

L Garou
L Garou
23 days ago

Brilliant!

paschn
paschn
23 days ago

LOL!
Careful Ron! You might inadvertently anger AIPAC et al,
They’ll order a “hit” on you in the same vein as McKinley/Kennedy
Lincoln etc…

July Hunter
July Hunter
23 days ago

The rioters aren’t intelligent enough to know who their true enemy is. They should mosey on over to the website of Mr. Dontell Jackson called “WE THOUGHT THEY WERE WHITE”. And listen to Rev. Farrakhan on the subject.

AQUA BUDDA
AQUA BUDDA
23 days ago
Reply to  July Hunter

did not know that Ron Paul fluent in speaking EBONICS

AQUA BUDDA
AQUA BUDDA
23 days ago
Reply to  July Hunter

ANTI TERMITE ?
SOS RHIANNA ?
UNDER MY UMBR EL LA
WHY DID RIHIANNA PHONE BOOTH OBAMA @WH GATE IN WEARNING CERN PRINT DRESS ?

WHY IS GOOGLE AND GATES AND OBAMA OBSESSED WITH CERN AND SHIVA ?

Last edited 23 days ago by AQUA BUDDA
Rabbitnexus
Rabbitnexus
23 days ago

Waste of time worthless fantasy.

Anti-Empire