NOT SATIRE: Berlin Threatening Lockdown If Germans “Misbehave”

Ordnung, deutsches Volk! (Or you're grounded)

Stuff is becoming impossible to parody

Editor’ warning: What follows is not satire. I repeat, the following text is not satire.

The government will closely monitor people’s behavior to see if they are taking the measures implemented this week seriously.

The decision of whether to lock down Germany entirely hinges on the behavior of its citizens, the Chancellor’s office announced Friday.

Angela Merkel’s Chief of Staff, Helge Braun, described Saturday as a crucial day in deciding on possible lockdowns because of the coronavirus.

“We will look at the behavior of the people this weekend,” the CDU politician told Der Spiegel. “Saturday is a decisive day, and we will keep a close eye on that.”

Chancellor Merkel wants to hold a telephone conference call with state premiers on Sunday evening. This is likely to include the question of whether and when lockdowns should be imposed.

“On Saturday, people traditionally meet each other because they have the day off,” Braun said.

“Unfortunately, this is not possible outside the nuclear family at the moment. This must be stopped now. If this does not happen, it is possible that more far-reaching measures will also be decided in the federal states, although we actually want to avoid this.”


Meanwhile, the state premier of the German state of Saxony, Michael Kretschmer sees the option of a lockdown as a last resort. He told local newspaper Sächsische Zeitung that nobody wanted a lockdown, as it would massively restrict life. “That’s why we are counting on the current measures and see if they have the hoped-for effect in the next 14 days,” Kretschmer said.

North Rhine-Westphalia’s state premier, Armin Laschet, has warned that the federal and state governments will impose a lockdown if citizens do not comply with the call to keep their distance.

“If we can’t make the voluntary commitment, then we will be able to make such decisions,” the CDU politician told ARD television.


The German cities of Freiburg and Leverkusen have announced lockdown plans of their own.

Freiburg’s two-week ban comes into effect on Saturday, prohibiting citizens entering public places including streets, squares, public green spaces and parks.

People should only leave their home for urgent matters, such as food shopping, visits to the doctor, assistance to persons in need of support, and travel to and from work and the placement of children in emergency care. People may stay outside alone, in pairs or with those living in their own household. A minimum distance of 1.5 meters must be kept from all other persons.

Leverkusen has already implemented similar measures, where people are no longer allowed to come together outdoors, with a few exceptions. Meetings of two or more people in the open air are prohibited unless it is for essential activities.

And Dortmund will now only allow groups of no more than four to mingle. If social activities exceed this number, people will be subject to punishment. Exceptions will be made for families.

Source: Deutsche Welle

  1. Jozo Magoc says

    And what about the 6 million islamic goatfickers Stasi Merkel invited,who mostly misbehave???

  2. JustPassingThrough says

    When medical facilities are not geared for a huge influx of people with, for example breathing problems what would you do?

    Your loved one has had a serious accident s/he needs immediate attention. However there is no room at the emergency ward at the hospital because it is taken up by people with severe breathing problems. How would you respond to a “lockdown?”

    Just look at the panic in CN and IT. How would you handle that?

    If you look up the definition of martial law, many lands have already implemented a version of it. Look at the US, NG called out in Maryland and Georgia.

    “Ordnung, deutsches Volk (or you’re grounded) – How childish can you get.
    I’m beginning to wonder why i even subscribe to this site.

  3. Undecider says

    In America, we’re going to have to take extra measures, in case the government doesn’t behave.

    1. JustPassingThrough says

      fixed it for you

    2. Jozo Magoc says

      Goy,your zionist government MISBEHAVE since assassination of JFK and RFK!!! Your extra measure is obesity and lazyness,plus extreme stupidity!

      1. XRGRSF says

        You got that right.

  4. cechas vodobenikov says

    Bakunin did write, “the
    germans would rather die than rebel”

    1. JustPassingThrough says

      Bakunin: a wannabe anarchist who sought the protection of the CH state to save his miserable a**. So funny, these anarchists. They rant against the state and then run and hide in a state for their personal protection.

      1. Jozo Magoc says

        Jew Bakunin was murderer,judeobolshevik and gulags operator!

        1. XRGRSF says

          OK, but is his statement about Germans correct or not ??

  5. CHUCKMAN says

    The Germans have it in the blood.

    Red blood cells doing the goose step.

    But they build awfully good cars and washing machines and vacuum cleaners.

    1. Jozo Magoc says

      Sorry,but the average German has more wisdom in his arse,than most Americans in their skulls!

      1. XRGRSF says

        The average German is so brainwashed, programmed, and beaten down that he couldn’t catch his ass with both hands.

    2. JustPassingThrough says

      Chuckman Diarrhea — loose, watery and frequent mental bowel movements .

      1. XRGRSF says

        Says the turd who just passed through.

  6. thomas malthaus says

    Lockdown their misbehaving Muslims?

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