Nobel Peace Prize Committee Informs Trump He Has Not Launched Enough Drone Strikes to Qualify

Has been informed will be considered again next year, provided he starts a war with Iran

The Norwegian Nobel Committee was reportedly considering President Trump as a recipient of its prestigious Nobel Peace Prize, as the president had submitted his name for consideration to them over 67 times. But after reviewing his credentials, the committee concluded that he had not launched enough drone strikes against foreigners to qualify.

“Yeah, you’ve dabbled in attacks, but what we’re really looking for is someone who’s really committed to a secret drone war,” said a spokesperson for the committee. “Look at previous winners like Barack Obama: now there’s a shining example of someone who achieved world peace not through lame diplomacy but by blowing up foreigners with impunity.”

Obama also criticized Trump’s drone strike count, saying they were “rookie numbers” and he needs to “pump those numbers up.”

“My fellow Americans, it represents a danger to democracy when we have a president who’s either unwilling or unable to bomb as many foreigners as I did,” Obama said, reading off a teleprompter. “During my scandal-free presidency, I was able to drop over 26,000 bombs some years.”

“Those were the days,” he added, going off-script as his eyes glazed over and he recalled the feeling of dark, evil power that coursed through his veins when he ordered drone strikes on foreign nations we were not at war with, innocent civilians, and the occasional American citizen.

The Nobel Prize committee said they would consider Trump again next year, provided he starts a war with Iran.

Source: The Babylon Bee



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Canosin
Canosin
21 days ago

greatly appreciated this article….. it does in an ironic way perfectly expose the hypocrisy of the Nobel commitee as a whole…..

Иван
Иван
21 days ago

LOL

Great satire. (or at least I hope it is. It’s hard to tell nowadays)

Nadia Dennis
Nadia Dennis
21 days ago
Reply to  Иван

It is hard, indeed, in the absurdity that surrounds us.

Mary E
21 days ago

The world was shocked when Barack Obama received the Nobel…making that Peace Prize committee a joke…a huge, pathetic joke. Not surprised that Trump has nominated himself – but 67 times?!?!? Totally delusional. Now it is out of his grasp…he’s a total loser in every way. In the meantime, banish the Nobel Peace Prize….unless it is renamed the War Prize…..

JustPassingThrough
JustPassingThrough
21 days ago

Bravo!

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