More People Voluntarily Committing Themselves to Asylums to Escape Insanity of Real World

More people are voluntarily committing themselves to mental institutions in an attempt to escape the ever-increasing insanity of the real world.

Thousands of people have checked themselves in at psychiatric wards across the country, claiming to be insane, in order to get away from the absolute insanity of everything that’s happening outside.

“Oh yeah, I’m totally crazy, 100%,” said Frank Zwygart as he checked himself in to an asylum in Arkham. “I think I’m Napoleon Bonaparte or whatever. Yep, totally insane.”

“That guy over there swinging the golf club at the orderly thinks we’re living in a simulation, while Bob over in the corner thinks he’s God,” said recently committed man Frank Zwygart. “So yeah, it’s a little less crazy than things out there. We don’t worry about stuff like Kanye running for president, murder hornets, nunchuck bears, bubonic squirrels, World War 3, or getting doxxed for old tweets. And they’ve got lots of great board games in here.”

“Plus, Bob’s actually a pretty cool guy once you get to know him,” he added as he adjusted his straitjacket. “Actually, he’s totally sane — his beliefs make perfect sense to him. There’s an internal logic to everything he believes, unlike some of the crazies you try to talk to out there in the crazy world.”

Source: The Babylon Bee

Text may contain traces of satire.

25 Comments
  1. Starfire says

    This does not surprise me;)

    1. Thomas W. Paine says

      More people living on the street because they lost their job and everything else in this real world commit themselves and have a comfortable bed and three meals a day.

      Now they don’t have to find a place to sleep that is freezing cold in the winter and get moved on by a police officer or some mean kids or another street person who want their coal or shoes.

        1. Thomas W. Paine says

          Hi Star… Did you take the photo of that Moose?

          If you have Moose in your area they can be very friendly… They like corn on the cob, with the husk and apples… And the enjoy being petted and groomed like a horse and remove ticks.

          https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=you+tube+a+moose+and+his+girl+in+alaska&docid=608024011641586699&mid=D299B84B4161E8335B42D299B84B4161E8335B42&view=detail&FORM=VIRE

          1. Starfire says

            The moose we’ve encountered around here were not so friendly. One tried to charge our vehicle on a logging road. Fortunately, WH knew to slowly back away. The next fall, I saw a bull moose when I was out walking the dog, and decided it was time to get my first canister of pepper spray.

            1. Thomas W. Paine says

              Just approach slowly on foot and offer a husked corn on the cob and when he or she eats it, pet it’s nose and offer the apple… Nothin too it.

              And have a big gun handy.

        2. Thomas W. Paine says

          LOL… No, we did not know that, but we have always suspected Jack Nickelson was crazy and so was the Nurse.

          They sure put on a very good act anyway.

    2. sabelmouse says

      it is satire though, right ?

      1. Starfire says

        I think so;) It’s kind of like The Onion. “Encouraging Report Finds Polar Bears Evolving Aerospace Engineering Skills Necessary To Escape Overheating Planet.” https://www.theonion.com/encouraging-report-finds-polar-bears-evolving-aerospace-1844467616

        1. sabelmouse says

          :)))))

        2. Thomas W. Paine says

          There are already millions more homeless here in the United States since this Covid crap has gone on for 6 months.

          The “experts” say by September they expect to see 23 million more homeless than we had in January… 23 million !!
          I suppose that includes kids if entire families are kicked out of their homes and or apartments or rented houses.

          That is a lot added to the millions already homeless, the majority of those are durggies who have lost everything and prefer being homeless.

          In San Fran they put hundreds of homeless in nice hotels and gave them food, drugs and a little money and they destroyed their hotel rooms and acted like, like, I dunno, animals don’t crap in their beds.

          Losing a job now is really bad… Last year and prior school bus drivers were always needed and “assistant managers” at Mac Dons and night watchmen and night managers at gas station/small grocery stores or cart collectors at Walmart, card dealers and cocktail waitresses, restaurant waiters.

          Those once available minimum paying jobs are not available now with millions already laid off or out of work because their business closed for good… The low paying jobs are filled up.

          I have seen middle aged men and women who had high paying jobs at big business places like IBM lose their jobs and get good jobs driving semi trucks and such when middle aged college grads were too advanced to get the high paying jobs at age 48 yo 50+ years old they were qualified for… They weren’t “hireable” for the real good jobs.

          Now the Fit has hit the Shan in the US and Canada and other countries because of this BS virus scare and it does not look like it is going to improve anytime soon, and if Biden wins it won’t matter, he will inherit a mess he can’t fix, no one short of another Roosevelt can.

          What happens to a family with a child or 2 or 3 or 4 when the parents are out of a job and only have enough money for food and the electric and water bill?

          When they are evicted and on the street, what happens to them and their children?

          I cannot imagine if that had happened to us with our kids at young ages… What does one do?

          Beg for food money and get pushed off by the police, sleep wherever they can find a spot… Move in with family or friends or their Church maybe? We are in big trouble.

          1. Starfire says

            Move to Canada?

            1. sabelmouse says

              pssst. you don’t want barbarian hordes descending.

            2. Thomas W. Paine says

              Yes, but are jobs available there now? And I understand they won’t let us in now… I don’t blame em either.

              I don’t believe the Auto industry in Canada is doing any good now…That is where one of our cars was manufactured, a top US brand… LOL, they are better quality too.

            3. Starfire says

              The overwhelming majority of Canadians want to keep the Americans out for a long time.

            4. Mensch59 says

              Smart people in that respect: the Canadians.

            5. Thomas W. Paine says

              Who in their right mind can blame them? Look what we elect to be our leaders… The US of A is on a downhill slide and someone had greased the slide.

              And we do have few little problems of gun violence, drug abuse, an economic disaster, a falling apart infrastructure and a military with at least 20% on illegal drug use.

              A very sick society with terrible corruption all across the nation and crazy leaders.

              That pretty well covers the way it is… Haiti doesn’t want us either.

          2. sabelmouse says

            i would have thought they’d kill them off.

            1. Mensch59 says

              Give it time.

            2. sabelmouse says

              i’m amazed they haven’t been.

            3. Thomas W. Paine says

              There is not a lot of difference and it’s a lot colder and you have Montreal and Quebec… Of course we have Chicago and New Jersey.

          3. Starfire says

            “Now the Fit has hit the Shan..” haha.

  2. Saint Jimmy (Russian American) says

    Hmmmm….. Nah, I can’t…. Hmmmmm…..

  3. cechas vodobenikov says

    that 30+% amerikans r diagnosed w mental illness is no accident–in civilized nations 6% is average….and why is this?

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