‘Joe Biden Is The Best Choice For Our Nation,’ Chants Tulsi Gabbard After DNC Completes Assimilation Process

The DNC Collective has assimilated yet another species, the Borg King Joe Biden proudly announced Thursday morning.

Species 10027, Tulsi Gabbard, was successfully injected with nanoprobes and assimilated into the Borg’s campaign, according to Biden’s statement. Gabbard quickly lost all principles and independent thought and began tirelessly working to further the purposes of the mysterious Borg species, sources inside the Borg Cube indicated.

“We will add your biological and political distinctiveness to our own,” the Borg King told Gabbard in a speech celebrating the acquisition of her body into the Borg Collective. “Your campaign will adapt to service us. Resistance is futile.” The crowd of gathered Borg erupted in drone-like applause to indicate their approval of the new addition.

“Joe Biden is the best choice for our nation,” she said dutifully as soon as the process was complete. “There are five lights. War is good. Biden is good.”

Gabbard—or Species 10027, as she is now known—was spotted shortly afterward distributing campaign buttons for the Borg King, who sneered at his new prize, “Human. We used to be exactly like them. Flawed, weak, organic. But we evolved.”

Source: The Babylon Bee

Text may contain traces of satire

Gabbard dropped out citing corona (what a useful virus this is turning out to be for the powers that be.)

  1. Vera Gottlieb says

    And the US calls itself a democracy??? You don’t even know what democracy looks like.

  2. Colin Smith says

    Gabbard made me nervous when she was seen to be close to Hindu nationalist, racist PM of India. My suspicion is that she too is a Hindu nationalist. That would explain why she never laid out her domestic policy, and traded to heavily on her military background. Regardless, a great disappointment.

  3. Brion Adair says

    Gak! Hurl! Tulsi has definitely been absorbed by the borg as Bernie will be eventually both will try to put lipstick on a pig.

    Personally I’ve totally given up on the illusionary “two” party system and I’m voting for Mark Charles:

  4. itchyvet says

    L.O.L. Once again, I’m having a good laugh. Ever since this election crap began, many Americans saw Tulsi as the second saviour, who was going to pull their nuts from the fire. The whole time, I pointed out she was still a serving military member and would do everything to ensure the continuation of those current policies. I was howled down many times, yet here we are today, where once again, I have been proven 100% spot on. L.O.L. It really is funny, how Americans are unable to see the wood for the trees, and continually make the same mistakes over and over again.But seriously, how the hell would anyone with even half a brain, vote for geriatric with brain damage to lead them ??? OOPS, my bad, it’s been done TWICE before, Regan and Bush 2.

  5. restless94110 says

    Gabbard was never ever a leader. She was weak from the start. This and other issues reveal that fact clearly. Her get out of the ME and give UI are the future, but she isn’t the one to lead us there.

  6. JustPassingThrough says

    …so she will be asked to be Biden VP nominee.
    Biden is soon dispatched as demented.
    Gabbard is now ….

    1. itchyvet says

      Keep on dreaming.

      1. JustPassingThrough says

        personally, i don’t give a s**t what happens to either party.
        it’s a poor comedy show at best.
        beamed at a public that is used to sitcom as news.

  7. Miguel A Nunez says

    You still expect principled behavior from any politician??? How old are you Bee?

    1. Mikhail Garchenko says

      …sadly true…

  8. isaac says

    There is NO HOPE in the two-puppet system – PERIOD!

  9. CHUCKMAN says

    Invasion of the Body Smatchers.

Leave A Reply

Your email address will not be published.