How Putin Can Use 5D to End the War and Merge Russia and Ukraine THIS VERY MOMENT

In one simple step

Time for a 5D comeback

10 days before the war I warned Kiev it was facing a Russian invasion, but also advised it there was a brilliant way it could thwart Putin’s plan: Get ahead of him and recognize Donetsk and Lugansk.

An uncomfortable thing to do emotionally, but such is 5D judo. Unilaterally settling the status of Donetsk and Lugansk (in their favor) would have robbed Putin of an excuse to escalate the standoff into the current regime-change war.

As it was, Kiev did not listen to my advice and Moscow used precisely the pretext of Donetsk and Lugansk to launch a larger war.

Oh well.

But now I have the perfect 5D judo move in the same vein for Russia.

Why is Moscow waging this war? As Putin has explained multiple times he views Russians and Ukrainians as two branches of the same people, and is aghast with official Ukraine for doing everything to cut them apart and turn them against each other.

He, on the contrary, wants some kind of merger of Russia and Ukraine. For example in a lose political union, or at least an informal union achieved by having the two run by friendly and allied regimes.

The problem is that what is now a steamroller war is unlikely to achieve that. After tens of thousands of Ukrainian conscripts have been blown up by Russian cannons is that really going to make the Ukrainians appreciate just how close kin the Russians truly are?

Moreover, even if the Russians make it to Kiev and install their own guy there at the very most they can get is a lose political union.

But what if I told you there was a way for Russia to achieve a full Russian-Ukrainian merger into a single, unitary state immediately, without a single more person having to die?

Putin can stop the bloodshed and achieve his goals tomorrow, with this brilliant 5D judo move — sign a surrender.

Just as Russians are fond of daydreaming about “Novorossiya” Ukrainians are fond of drawing maps of Ukraine that includes Russia’s Kuban. Tell Ukrainians they can have the Kuban if they take the rest of Russia too.

Let’s be real here. Differences between Russians and Ukrainians are smaller than between the northern and southern French. The reason the 40 million Ukrainians object to a merger with the 145 million Russians is that in such a merger it is they who would be subsumed. But if there were instead 145 million Ukrainians and 40 million Russians it is doubtless it is Ukrainians who would be insisting that Russians are nothing more than “Little Ukrainians”. (And the Russians who would be seeking foreign aid to prevent that.)

However, what if they don’t need to be subsumed? What if Russians, despite being the more numerous agree to be subsumed into Ukrainians? Then doubtlessly they can have the Russian-Ukrainian merger Putin desires.

It would require Russians to learn Ukrainian but since they are “one people” then Ukrainian is just an alternate Russian language so that isn’t an issue. What does it matter if the Russians speak Great Russian or Little Russian?

It would mean that Russians would live under the blue-yellow flag. But since the Russians are the first to point out that these are the colors of a medieval Russian principality in western Rus’ that should not be offensive in the least.

The merger would be tricky for Zelensky because if Great Russians are to have citizenship he couldn’t hope to win an election. The deal would therefore have to be sweetened by making him President for Life. Putin meanwhile would have the choice of China, Cuba, Syria, and Venezuela to live out the rest of his days in luxury.

In luxury, and with the peace of mind that comes from having an absolutely incredible legacy of having merged Russia and Ukraine against all odds.

Best of all, with the All-Russian union being run from Kiev by Zelensky sanctions would no longer apply.

In one last final 5D judo stroke Putin would have robbed DC of a war where it can fight East Slavs with East Slavs and even get Russia out from under Western economic assault.

However, the sanctions would doubtlessly gradually return as Zelensky heading a realm of 180 million people with a nuclear arsenal, and a UNSC seat would no longer be contented to be subservient to DC. Very soon he would be striving to make the enlarged Ukraine a superpower in the new multipolar world order and a Piedmont around which to unite yet more Slavs (starting with the “Little Ukrainians” in Belarus).

With the worst of the Azov being destroyed in Mariupol as we speak this is the perfect time to do it.



Sorry, this was supposed to be funnier than what came out, but it’s hard to write a joke when it makes so much sense.

  1. maiasta says

    It was still pretty amusing. And bonkers solutions often DO make the most sense, just like the ‘One State’ in Israel-Palestine. Just a pity that no-one is “crazy” enough to try them out.

  2. guest says

    The battle for the Kramatorsk pocket has started.
    We’ll find out soon what V.V. will be able to present at the Victory Parade just 20 days away.

  3. ken says

    Well,,,, when you have this,,, (if true)

    White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki on Monday night confirming that fresh planeloads of US-supplied weaponry have arrived in Kiev.

    ,,,without any response from Russia; then Russia deserves what it will get….

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