All Scientists Forced to Retire After Realizing the Science Is Now Settled The Babylon Bee 27 Apr 21 1811 3
Popular New Mask Reads “I’m Not a Democrat, I Just Forgot to Take Off My Mask When I Left the Store” The Babylon Bee 21 Apr 21 331 1
Ron Paul Disguises Federal Reserve as Nike Store In Hopes Rioters Will Burn It Down The Babylon Bee 20 Apr 21 4303 16
Pope Announces Vaccine Selfies Can Now Be Turned in to Spring a Relative Out of Purgatory According to sources, the indulgence is good for the Pfizer and Moderna vaccines only. The Babylon Bee 16 Apr 21 756 5
‘It Is Still Not Safe to Go Outside,’ Says Fauci’s Head in a Jar in Year 2739 The Babylon Bee 14 Apr 21 637 2
For Maximum Protection, Vaccine Now Offered in Continuous IV Drip You Carry Around for the Rest of Your Life The Babylon Bee 13 Apr 21 519 4
As COVID Numbers Dwindle, Desperate Fauci Begins Eating Bats "At publishing time, Fauci was seen at a local Walmart licking all the doorknobs" The Babylon Bee 9 Apr 21 756 3
Stay Classy MSM 60 Minutes Releases Exclusive Secret Photos of Ron Desantis Clubbing Baby Seals With Hitler "It would appear from these completely undoctored photographs, that Ron DeSantis is both a fan of clubbing baby seals and a Nazi" The Babylon Bee 7 Apr 21 717 2
The Bromance Continues: Biden Lets Obama Pilot Drone Into Syria for Old Times’ Sake The Babylon Bee 29 Mar 21 603 3
US: Most Popular Career Choice Now “Professional Stimulus Check Recipient” The Babylon Bee 21 Mar 21 490 3
Liberal Obediently Awaits CDC Instructions on Whether It’s OK for Him to Breathe Shallow breaths only The Babylon Bee 14 Mar 21 489 5
Empire at Home ‘I Sure Am Glad I Don’t Live in One of Those Banana Republics,’ Says Man as He Walks by Wall Indefinitely Surrounding Capitol "It feels good to live in a country ruled for the people and by the people" The Babylon Bee 11 Mar 21 684 4
Experts Warn Lifting Mask Mandates Could Contribute to Dangerous Spread of Freedom The Babylon Bee 7 Mar 21 669 3
Low Bars Texas Governor Hailed as Conservative Hero for Ending Unconstitutional Mandates He Implemented The Babylon Bee 5 Mar 21 491 2
Teachers Unions Say Schools Cannot Reopen Until We Are Safe From Our Kids Ever Having a Future The Babylon Bee 27 Feb 21 446 3
Dr. Fauci Reminds Everyone We Will Only Have to Wear Masks Until Humans Evolve Organic Face Coverings at Birth The Babylon Bee 25 Feb 21 635 3
Bill Gates Warns of the Sacrifices We’ll Have to Make in Stirring Speech Given From His 650 Million Dollar Super Yacht “I wanted a 500ft, 1 billion-dollar mega yacht, but I settled for this clunker just to show how committed I am to the cause” The Babylon Bee 21 Feb 21 343 10
Cuomo-19 Touching: Cuomo Sends Signed Copies of His Book to the Families of Nursing Home Victims "I heard that some people in my state lost some loved ones in nursing homes. I thought to myself, 'Aw... that's too bad. Maybe I'll send them a free copy of my book to cheer them up!'" The Babylon Bee 20 Feb 21 64 1
The Flat Curve Society Shocking Video From Just One Week Ago Shows Majority of Americans Wearing Only One Mask "I'm sick to my stomach watching the carnage unfold in this horrific footage. Thousands of grandma-killers were walking among us undetected only one short week ago" The Babylon Bee 15 Feb 21 87 4
CDC: ‘Just Because You Got the Vaccine Doesn’t Mean You Should Go Outside or Ever Experience Joy Again’ The Babylon Bee 11 Feb 21 742 3
Nation Prepares to Celebrate 1st Anniversary of Two Weeks to Flatten the Curve The Babylon Bee 10 Feb 21 620 3
Anti-Empire