President XI Getting Pretty Jealous of Biden Administration’s Ability to Censor Speech on Social Media "This is next-level stuff. Really quite something!" The Babylon Bee 18 Jul 21 626 1
To Avoid 1st Amendment Concerns, Biden Administration Announces They Will Let Facebook Run the Gulags "There are many problematic people in this country who desperately need re-education, and we can think of no one better to run the camps!" The Babylon Bee 17 Jul 21 586 2
Updated Death Certificates Require Choosing Between COVID, Climate Change, or Systemic Racism as Cause of Death According to sources, some are working to add "homophobia" and "Trump" as possible causes of death as well The Babylon Bee 7 Jul 21 2272 10
Mind Virus-19 Delta Variant Found to Be Twice as Virulent and Blah Blah Blah Whatever Who Cares at This Point It’s still the coronavirus, but now you’re totally going to catch it for real this time. They are super double serious. The Babylon Bee 5 Jul 21 1623 6
Facebook to Provide Pop-Up Warning When Your Friends Begin Thinking for Themselves The Babylon Bee 3 Jul 21 1602 10
‘I Don’t Study Science, I AM the Science,’ Growls Grizzled, Bald Dr. Fauci to Reporters The Babylon Bee 10 Jun 21 880 2
Concerns Arise Over Jen Psaki’s Physical Health After Her Statement That Biden Is “Hard to Keep Up With” The Babylon Bee 7 Jun 21 599 4
Dr. Fauci Gets in Heated Debate With Seventeen Previous Versions of Himself The Babylon Bee 1 Jun 21 1286 3
Satan Announces Masks Will Still Be Required in Hell "The number of masks you have to wear corresponds to the circle of Hell you reside in" The Babylon Bee 19 May 21 547 1
Liberal Gets Mask Tattooed on His Face So No One Will Think He’s One of Those Crazy Republicans The Babylon Bee 17 May 21 753 3
CDC Says You No Longer Have to Wear a Life Jacket Outside in Case of Rain The Babylon Bee 16 May 21 629 2
Our Benevolent Empire US Criticized for Withdrawing Troops From Afghanistan While Just 50 Years From Victory The Babylon Bee 7 May 21 947 5
10 Ways to Feel Morally Superior to Everyone When Masks Are No Longer Required Declare a climate emergency and switch to an all-bug diet. Also, be rich and drive an electric car The Babylon Bee 5 May 21 565 2
CDC Now Recommends Wearing a Seat Belt Even When You’re Outside the Car The Babylon Bee 29 Apr 21 2138 8
All Scientists Forced to Retire After Realizing the Science Is Now Settled The Babylon Bee 27 Apr 21 2047 3
Popular New Mask Reads “I’m Not a Democrat, I Just Forgot to Take Off My Mask When I Left the Store” The Babylon Bee 21 Apr 21 417 1
Ron Paul Disguises Federal Reserve as Nike Store In Hopes Rioters Will Burn It Down The Babylon Bee 20 Apr 21 4575 16
Pope Announces Vaccine Selfies Can Now Be Turned in to Spring a Relative Out of Purgatory According to sources, the indulgence is good for the Pfizer and Moderna vaccines only. The Babylon Bee 16 Apr 21 868 5
‘It Is Still Not Safe to Go Outside,’ Says Fauci’s Head in a Jar in Year 2739 The Babylon Bee 14 Apr 21 830 2
For Maximum Protection, Vaccine Now Offered in Continuous IV Drip You Carry Around for the Rest of Your Life The Babylon Bee 13 Apr 21 601 4
As COVID Numbers Dwindle, Desperate Fauci Begins Eating Bats "At publishing time, Fauci was seen at a local Walmart licking all the doorknobs" The Babylon Bee 9 Apr 21 872 3
