‘Guess That’s It for Us,’ Islamist Terrorists Say

They all give up now

Radical Islamic terrorists from across the Middle East are calling it quits following the death of ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, with all agreeing that the time has come to abandon jihad and accept Western values.

“Listen, we had a really good run blowing stuff up and beheading Americans while we recreated the world of Muhammad and the rightly guided caliphs,” one former ISIS fighter said as he sipped on a can of Coca-Cola. “But let’s face it. Our Caliph is dead, and it would be really hard to find a new one. So we’ve just got to accept American hegemony and give up on instituting Sharia law.”

While some have claimed that Baghdadi’s death will mean neither the end of ISIS or Islamic terrorism, terrorists spoken to by The Mideast Beast were unanimous in saying that they were done with jihad.

“The only question now is whether I get a law degree or follow my heart and major in dance,” Mohammed al-Kaboomi, a former high-ranking ISIS official, told The Mideast Beast. “On the other hand, I’ve heard Technion has a great engineering program.”

Source: The Middle East Beast

  1. JustPassingThrough says

    meaningless BS.
    waste of bandwidth.
    insult to intelligent readers.
    must be there is no news out there or….

  2. CHUCKMAN says

    “‘Guess That’s It for Us,’ Islamist Terrorists Say
    “They all give up now”

    Crap propaganda, very thinly disguised as satire.

    As long as the US, Britain, Saudi Arabia, and Israel are willing to sign paychecks and supply goods, “Islamic terrorists” in the Middle East will be around.

    They have served many useful purposes for the states supporting them.

    Oh sure, “Islamic terrorists,” but you never saw any of them once attack Israeli interests of the interests of the fat corrupt princes of Saudi Arabia or indeed any Americans hanging around – all the obvious natural targets for any genuine “Islamic terrorists.”

    They all busied themselves attacking what America and Israel wanted attacked, such as the government of Syria.

    Gee, I wonder why that would be?

    “You don’t bite the hand that feeds you” is the old cliché.

    Al-Baghdadi was an American/Israeli asset from the start.

    If he is dead, which I tend to doubt, it’s only because the states destroying so much of the Middle East had some change of plans. Such men are always regarded as expendable when they are no longer useful or there is some possibility for embarrassing revelations.

    Even on the home front, look at Mossad asset Jeffrey Epstein’s fate when his usefulness ended and threats existed through new legal proceedings for some truth being revealed.

    Look at the doubtful death back in 1991, of British media tycoon, Robert Maxwell, a man acknowledged in Israel to be one of the country’s most important spies ever. And, by the way, his daughter, Ghislaine, was long-time companion and helper to Epstein.

    Indeed, getting rid of a man like al-Baghdadi, or pretending to do so, gives idiotic Trump something to crow about.

    Cui bono?

  3. thomas malthaus says

    All this time and no reports of US military trainers giving ISIS members aviation pilot training.

  4. DarkEyes says

    IMO, a nice peace of propaganda and a load of crap.

    It reminds me of a stage when a couple of “arabic men or Afghanstani” in 11/2001were having a party while the Twin Towers had been “succesfully attacked” according their plans.

    Within a year it was open all was fake. It was an inside job.

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