Florida Ruled to Be in Violation of Science For Not Having More People Die

While many governors followed Science and shut down their states early and still have stay-at-home orders in place, Florida kept its beaches open through Spring Break and has already begun its reopening plans. Science says Florida should have seen skyrocketing deaths from COVID-19, but instead Florida — despite its large elderly population — has not seen anywhere near the number of problems faced by states like New York and New Jersey. This has been ruled to be in complete defiance of Science.

“We had good Science telling us Florida should have seen massive deaths,” said far right-wing conservative Washington Post columnist Jennifer Rubin. “And now Florida is undermining our trust in Science by not dying. We cannot tolerate this. More Floridians need to die. To die for Science.”

California Governor and Science believer Gavin Newsom agreed. “Ron DeSantis is a witch! Burn him!” Newsom said about the Florida governor. Experts widely believe DeSantis used something anti-Science — like black magic — to violate what Science said should be true.

There is now a movement by Science-believing Democrats to actively try to infect Floridians to try to get their death count to match projections. Democrats have also called for DeSantis to be put in some sort of Science prison — a cage made using force fields or lasers or other Science things — though it is unknown if that would be able to imprison him, considering his Floridian black magic.

Source: The Babylon Bee

Text may contain traces of satire.

  1. disqus_3BrONUAJno says

    All of the scientists must have simultaneously forgotten what hgh levels of solar UV-C does to corona viruses.
    You can check the current level of solar UV at https://www.epa dot gov/enviro/uv-index-search

  2. cechas vodobenikov says

    again Wittgenstein was right..”science sends you back to sleep..”

  3. voza0db says

    They should go even further on that VIOLATION OF SCIENCE and do the following:

    For every RT-qPCR positive test, they would then do another test with a different test kit that for the same PCR cycle generates a NEGATIVE result.

    IN NO TIME they would have ZERO CASES OF RNA “SARS-CoV-2” infections!


  4. fluttershield mlp says

    It’s both Dems and Republicans gaslighting the nation. Both parties are totally corrupt.

    1. itchyvet says

      It’s not just the parties that are corrupt, I dare say 99% of the U.S. is irrevocably corrupt.

    2. FaunaAndFlora says

      It’s not just the USA. The entire world has been gaslighted. The question is, who’s behind this mess?

  5. Godfree Roberts says

    There may be more to this than meets the eye:

    Coronavirus was in Florida before we knew it: A Miami Herald analysis shows state health officials have documented at least 170 COVID-19 patients reporting symptoms between Dec. 31, 2019, and Feb. 29. https://www.tampabay.com/news/health/2020/05/05/coranavirus-was-in-florida-before-we-knew-it/

    Anders Tegnell, Sweden’s chief epidemiologist, said coronavirus may have been circulating in the country since November https://www.ft.com/content/aba67162-9129-41b9-b82b-d61a890e6589

    “In August 2019, the new coronavirus COVID-19 had invaded and spread in Japan.” This year’s infection is the second wave. A large-scale antibody test is desirable in the future. Dr. Junya Fukushima (Gastroenterologist, University of Tsukuba). https://mobile.twitter.com/isaiah_sweetie/status/1257885191864897536

    1. voza0db says

      We, Moron Humans, assume the day we find a new piece of RNA as the day of Creation!

      This strain of SARS-CoV is nothing but a very weak one. It is incapable of killing an HEALTHY host, no matter the age.

    2. glib1 says

      Yes. And simply vitamin D status explains mortality differences since papers about vit. D and covid show large effects. The virus was out and about in November. Then when excess mortality would not budge, weeks after the lockdown, the order went out in the lst days of March to put covid patients into nursing homes. That did create some excess mortality where this was done (UK, Lombardy, New York).

      1. voza0db says

        This is the premature mortality for my country! That’s the data for people with 34-69 years.


        This is the TOTAL mortality all ages!

        Can you spot the “pandemic”?

        1. glib1 says

          Barely. But those heat waves are easy to pick out.

          1. voza0db says

            Those were deaths due to Forest Fires! Not even direct consequence of the Heat!

  6. sabelmouse says


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