Fauci: ‘We Must Obey The Government Without Question As The Founding Fathers Intended’

In an earnest discussion with Joe Biden’s pandemic response team, Dr. Fauci urged the nation to return to its roots and obey government orders without question as the founding fathers intended.

“Listen, it shouldn’t be this difficult,” said Dr. Fauci. “Americans are known as an obedient and subservient people, all the way back to the founding. We must urge our country to obey orders from unelected experts with complete trust just like Patrick Henry, George Washington, and John Adams did.”

According to unelected experts, this pandemic is the greatest threat faced by mankind in the history of mankind — even greater than the Black Death, the Third Reich, and microaggressions on college campuses.

“This is a wily and tricksey virus that seems to target family gatherings, joyful celebrations, and conservative activity while completely ignoring left-wing protestors,” said Fauci. “We know because of science. And all our sciency science is too sciency for all you non-science people, so you just have to trust us.” 

According to very highly scientific studies from scientific scientists, Americans are evenly divided between people who think the government should be obeyed without question and people who are murderous psychopaths.

“There’s really no middle ground on this,” said Fauci. 

Source: The Babylon Bee

Text may include traces of satire.

  1. Saint Jimmy (Russian American) says

    “Second wave” is crap.


    Guess I’m back to posting here. Seems that people are either rude or just plain stupid anywhere you go, which mostly isn’t the case here. I’ll put up with the few fascists who wander in here.

  2. Raptar Driver says

    The gangsters wish to get their protection money.I

  3. Canosin says

    this faux scientific expert, this ridiculous so called doctor would have nicely fitted in a “lager” ….a dangerous murderous fascist…a real criminal scumbag

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