Experts Warn We Have Only 12 Years Left Until They Change the Timeline on Global Warming Again

The sky is falling!

Climate experts have solemnly warned that we only have twelve years left until they change the dates on global warming again.

“If we don’t take action, then in 12 years we will have to explain why the world hasn’t ended and come up with a new number,” one UN scientist warned. “This is a very serious threat, and we urge everyone to hand control of the economy to the government immediately before we have no more time left to change the timeline again.”

The scientific consensus is that roughly 10-12 years from now, the world will be flooded with new doomsday predictions. This can all be avoided if we overhaul the economy and become socialists, according to non-political, unbiased sciencey type guys.

“Should we not change our ways, our old predictions will melt, dangerously raising the chance of us having to move the goalposts again,” said Al Gore. “Do you really want me to write another book, film another movie, and go on another tour in my private jet just because you dingbats couldn’t be bothered to alter your lifestyles? I don’t think so. Let’s all get on board with this 12-year figure, or we’ll have to push back the date again.”

Source: The Babylon Bee

  1. DarkEyes says

    The biggest hoax of the century invented at the foundation of the Club of Rome.
    Club of Rome could be a subsidiary of Mr Rothschild & Co.

    Mr Rothschild wants to see his returns ASAP after he bought a huge weather company as well.
    His employees announce from time to time we are approaching the end of times due to Climate Change, is a friendly way to promote the weather-business.
    Is the turnover of the Westher Company less than last year a few huricanes and or tsunami here and there will do the trick to increase turnover and thus the profits.

    Quite an entrepeneurial mind with 500 trillion US Dollars on his own bankaccount in his own bank,

  2. Peter Jennings says

    By 2031, the angry emoji of global warming will be 28 and living the high life on everyone’s fraudulently extracted carbon tax.

    The future will be bright and very profitable for some some people.

  3. Aurum Cimex says

    The most accurate paraphrasing of climate loons yet.

  4. John C Carleton says

    They said!

    They said i must send my money to Al Snake Oil Gore-
    Or humanity would burn to death in Man Made catastrophes galore-

    They said i must serve their demon god or i would surly die-
    They said this and so many more evil self serving lie-

    They said it was for humanities sake they started all the war-
    They said they were gods from the stars afar-

    They said humanity must allow them to rape their young at will-
    They said when they took humanities last cent, it was not enough still-

    They came back for blood again and again, till humanity was anemic on deaths door-
    They sang their own praises while stealing from and raping the poor-

    They said honor, morals, decency, adherence to the LIGHT’s path was a thing of the distant past-
    That their “god” would usher in humanities true reason for being at last-

    Cattle to be farmed and slaughtered at the discretion of the “elites” for perverse pleasure and profit-
    Around their necks they carry bits of the innocent raped and slain children’s hair as trophies in a locket-

    Humanity must rise up against the evil elites and make a stand-
    Or they will be slaughtered and enslaved, every last child woman and man-

    Look inside, inward for the answers you need, not to a war mongering pedophilic pope-
    Humanity must learn the true purpose of a good hemp rope!

    The Ole Dog!

  5. Natural_Texan says

    Terrific spoof!

    Personally I do believe that the science supports the warnings of climatologists about disruptive changes in climate and weather patterns.. My eyes also tell me that catastrophic loss of nature and environment accompanied by widespread pollution and poisoning is upon us now. The two problems, whatever one may think about anthropogenic climate disruption, are very closely linked.

    All that being said I also believe that much of the climate alarmism is politically motivated by those who seek to gain profits and power from new laws and programs.. the irony of people like Greta Thunberg calling on the same people and institutions that got us to this point to suddenly take the reins and fix it should be apparent.

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