EU Leads the Way: Megan Fox Devastated to Learn AE Has Imposed “Meetings Cap”

Inspired by the EU “price cap” on oil that Russia has and the EU wants I am also declaring sanctions on Megan Fox. Megan, from now on you can only get a hot steamy meeting once per week. Don’t call trying to get more than that. You’ve never done it before, but also don’t do it now.

At first, a harsher limit of one meeting per month was considered but for now more generous voices have prevailed, albeit this is expected to change.

Friends have pointed out that Fox literally doesn’t know that I exist, would have no interest in me, and can have a billion other men lined up which just proves how out of touch they really are. That is such a 2021 way of thinking, lads. Post-2022 it is we who are thirsty who get to sanction those who have the goods and a million other options!

Meg, I know this will be devastating for you, but once a week isn’t too bad, which you can get if you take care of the snacks and let me pick the anime. I will also require a foot rub and beers.

Sorry sugar, nothing lasts forever and we both know hearts can change.

Now I’m off to write Lamborghini I’m capping their Limited Series at 450 bucks. If I take on another paper route and shovel snow for Mrs. Huckleberry all winter I’ll have new wheels by March.