Disaster at Rally as Biden Smudges Note on Hand Reading, ‘You Are Joe Biden and You Are Running for President’

A Joe Biden campaign stop that began with the former vice president speaking with all the grace and class he is usually known for ended in disaster after the presidential candidate accidentally smudged a note on his hand reading, “You are Joe Biden and you are running for president.”

The speech started out well but quickly derailed after Biden greeted the crowd and then looked down at his reminder message scrawled in marker on the back of his hand. It was all smudged, possibly by his sweat and also when he was rubbing women’s shoulders in the crowd before the speech.

“Uh-oh,” he muttered. “I’m, uh… I’m Joe… Montana? No, that can’t be right. Joe Billingsworth? Mmm… that doesn’t sound right.” Biden frantically gestured toward an aide standing nearby to help him out, but the aide turned out to be a microphone stand, so he didn’t receive much help there.

“Yes, so, anyway, the thing, I’m Joe or George or somebody, you know, the thing, and I’m running for… the pope? I don’t think you vote for popes? Or is it kings you don’t vote for? Huh?” Clearly agitated, Biden then began to lash out at a heckler, saying, “I’ll beat the daylights out of you. Me, you, 50 pushups, go.” Biden started doing the pushups but got winded after one and a half, though he still beat the protester because he turned out, once again, to be a microphone stand.

Handlers scrambled to correct the issue by rushing Biden off the stage before any more damage could be done. “He’s only supposed to be up there for seven seconds, tops. It’s just his stammer from his childhood that sometimes makes him forget what planet he lives on and what year it is.”

The New York Times quickly praised Biden as “poised” and “full of grace and quiet dignity.”

Source: The Babylon Bee (March 11th)

Text may contain traces of satire.

Truth catching up to satire:

  1. cechas vodobenikov says

    this reveals all u r required to know about amerikans—they choose leaders that reflect their values and capacities: i.e. idiots like trump, etc….reported now is that Biden considers covid 19 a foreign attack on amerika—as does trump…the self-uglified, insecure paranoid amerikan has become a feminized cartoon—these puritans r too stupefied to comprehend that their empire is near collapse…this is fully examined by sociologists and historians—geoffrey Gorer, William Appleman Williams, Richard Hofstadter (the paranoid style in amerikan politics), Morris Berman, Daniel Boorstin, Philip Slater, Lewis Coser, Richard Sennet, etc…in a nation w a constitution that encourages dictatorship, the amerikan peasant now believes that puritanism and slavery is freedom…indeed amerikans (an oral culture) r becoming evermore insecure and childish, as the cultural historian Gary Cross demonstrates: “growing up in amerika is largely an education in shopping”
    obviously a poor education…as Boorstin observed, only amerikan r so stupid that they purchase products advertised by celebrities that don’t use the products
    edit: see ex CIA analyst, Ray McGovern’s evaluation of Biden at consortiumnews.com

    1. IM DeRose says

      …and the paid trolls like yourself? Please share with us “dum jumurikans” what insignificant shithole you hail from? Too chickenshit to even admit where you are from…probably a troll sitting in a stink tank in tel Aviv, eh?

      1. cechas vodobenikov says

        “nothing can thrive in amerika unless inflated by hyperbole and gilded w a fine coat of fraud. amerikans cannot think except by means of slogans–they identify garbage as quality…the stupidity and ignorance of amerikans has long been a topic of hilarity in Europe”. Paul Fussell
        the only shithole nation I’ve ever visited iis USA
        “the people of amerika tolerate a level of ugliness in their daily lives nearly without precedent in the history of western civilization”. Yuri Bezmenov
        never been to Israel—it cannot be a ugly as USA

  2. Rowdy-Yates says

    Funny 🙂

  3. IM DeRose says

    Biden, and all the media attention he is getting (click bate for the, ahem, “opposition” as evidenced in the comments) is irrelevant, and it is absolutely hilarious how many of the self-professed “political analysts” are oblivious to the fact that Trump is going to win by a landslide, possibly the largest margin of victory in jUS history.
    Does any cognitive person actually believe that the the “people” who installed Trump are going to let him leave the WH without accomplishing his mission: Syria, Iran, and Martial Law in the jUSA?
    On a side note, it is more than a little interesting that all the jUS bashers who haunt these hollowed halls, have nothing better to do in their own little shitholes than to fixate 24/7 on what jewmurika is doing. Especially folks from nations like Canada, which besides being a disaster, is little more than a global joke run by faggots.
    Canada is basically an impoverished transvestite version of the jUSA, no balls, no real assets, much blather. I understand that y’all love (((Trudeau))) so much that you find it necessary to bash American kosher puppets so that your own puppet does not look quite so bad. Same goes for he rest of the y’all shithole dwellers – that is why all the commenters are scared to admit what puny little shithole they infest.

    1. XRGRSF says

      You’re mixing your message; do you love America, hate America or are you simply indifferent/

  4. Jorge Trevino says

    The question in here is: Someones are pushing a guy with dementia into the White House for certain reasons that appear to be unspeakable. Those pushers are also aware that Hillary (the may-be vicepresident) is also not in her right mind.

  5. Inferior says

    Can this shit-show get even more shitier? I am firm in my believe that Muricunts deserve thugs like him or even that Orange-Golden-Piss-Shower of a president whos brain is just little smaller than pinhead.

  6. cap960 says

    Hillary for Vice President… soon to be President once creepy Joe is diagnosed with dementia…

  7. cechas vodobenikov says

    the amerikan peasants prefer a leader that reflects their personality and cognitive capacities–the velocity of decline is increasing

    1. AmounRah ✔️ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ says

      Every nation gets the government it deserves.
      -Joseph de Maistre

    2. thomas malthaus says

      Is he trying to cash out before he drops out?
      Lacks the scruples and presence of mind to end his candidacy.

      If the press doesn’t pick apart his Sunday night debate with Bernie Sanders, the people most certainly will.

      1. cechas vodobenikov says

        Neil Postman described amerikan politics as “baby talk, a vaudeville act”…amerikans the most childish people on the planet, most recently examined by the cultural historian, Gary Cross, Twenge & Campbell (the narcissism epidemic), etc
        Postman wrote, “no people r less informed and more entertained than amerikans…amerikans do not converse, as Tocqueville wrote, amerikans entertain each other. amerikans do not exchange ideas, they exchange images. the problem w amerikans is not Orwellian, it is Huxleyan: amerikans love their oppression”
        the same position is taken by many—Bauman, Horkheimer/Adorno, most recently by Alan Bloom (the closing of the amerikan mind)
        as Schiller wrote, “it is always the most oppressed that r the most stupid”
        “amerika requires a stupefied population”. Christopher Lasch
        “stupidity is a precious natural resource in amerika”. Philip Slater
        “Amerika is a culture of stupidity”. Arthur Schlesinger jr
        “stupidity is a virtue in amerika”. Charles Pierce
        “amerikans cannot think except by means of slogans–they identify garbage as quality. the stupidity and ignorance of amerikans has long been a topic of hilarity in Europe”. Paul Fussell
        indeed the US dept of education finds that few US university graduates r English proficient—caucasians/Latinos—the leastEnglish proficient

  8. pasha says

    Thanks for brightening a gloomy day! I almost feel sorry for Uncle Joe . . . but then not every dementia victim gets to run for president, so, no I don’t.

    1. Jihadi Colin says

      Also not every dementia patient is a corrupt war criminal.

  9. Jihadi Colin says

    He’s probably faking the dementia so as to have an insanity defence.

  10. Andrew Earl says

    he`s been chosen by billionaires, as are all presidential candidates, americans let this happen every time. they deserve what they get.

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