Concerning Rise in Independent Thinking Attributed to School Shutdowns

A worrying development!

A concerning rise in test scores, independent thinking, and intelligence has been attributed to public schools being shut down across the nation.

A recent study found that every day public schools have remained closed has been another day that students have become happier, better adjusted, and more likely to think for themselves. Public school teachers in particular are worried by this study, as it puts their jobs of indoctrinating our kids to think exactly like them in jeopardy.

“This is really troubling,” said seventh-grade teacher Amy Balder. “We must reopen the schools immediately before this spike in independent thought gets any worse. Students are just going to go believe anything out there willy-nilly and not just whatever I tell them. I mean, what if they discover that they can just go online and research subjects for themselves? We have a real disaster on our hands here.”

“But still, I think our schools should remain closed for at least another year or two. Can’t be too careful. Yes, I’m a brave warrior for our kids, but I am also really worried that something might happen to me.”

Source: The Babylon Bee

Text may contain traces of satire.

  1. V4V says

    Another bullsh*t article with no citations. What study? Done by whom? Where was it published? More bs…

    The students have been on their summer break and haven’t been tested, therefore, claims that students are “thinking independently” isn’t based on anything unless a study can be produced. How did the study measure that “students are more likely to think for themselves?”

    Better adjusted??? More likely to think for themselves??? I would like to see how they measured this. Based on my 24 years of teaching I can say this- students are generally happier when not in school just like most people are happier when not at work. Duh.

    p.s. Okay, I get it! It’s a joke. Thanks, NightriderXP1 !

  2. NightriderXP1 says

    Why does this site mix satire with real news? Is this an example of intentionally trying to deceive its readers? Looking below, it appears to be working…

    1. V4V says

      I have noticed that and seem to fall for it each time. Time for me to wake up and smell the coffee. I am just not used to websites posting articles in jest.

      1. NightriderXP1 says

        That’s clearly the intent of the site. They want their readers to be fooled by the satire that they mix with real news. Now that I know what this site is doing, the first thing I look for is the origination of the article. Everything coming from The Babylon Bee is satire and no different than reading from The Onion. Once I realize that a site is intentionally deceptive, it would be hard to believe anything it publishes. I don’t believe this site is republishing articles from The Babylon Bee in jest. It’s deliberately trying to promote nonsense…

        1. sherlockhemlock says

          I had a quick look-see at BB, which is new to me. All of the “satire” there appears to be targetted at the Fox News-defined Left–the Democratic Party, Democratic Socialism, AOC, Black Lives Matter protests, etc.–and threaded with topical Right-wing talking-points, ideological shibboleths and default assumptions.

          Take the article above–and notice that the headline says simply schools, but that the “satirical” article itself specifies public schools–in order to obliquely bash public education with the usual pablum about indoctrination of children–as if the fluoridated water wasn’t bad enough already!

          I’m disappointed that it doesn’t commend the home-schooling efforts of independant thinkers–such as Bible-thumping fundies, for instance–trying to save their kids from all that public school brainwashing.

          BB doesn’t hold a candle to The Onion, as far as I’m concerned. I found only one piece–on Ghislaine Maxwell–that was sort of funny, but with a lame last line. I think BB’s would-be witty staff need to get back to basics and actually develop a sense of humor; in fact I found it positively predictable–and good jokes should never be predictable:

          1. NightriderXP1 says

            The Onion is the king of satire. I think it publishes in a way that most rational readers would understand by the end that what they read was satire. OTOH, stories published by The Babylon Bee appear to be written so that their articles can be republished by disreputable sites and passed off as fact. Sites like The Babylon Bee are dangerous because too many willfully ignorant readers can be fooled into believing it. You can read through the comments and see that many did in fact believe it. Any site that mixes satirical stories from The Babylon Bee with valid news stories isn’t a reputable site. This easily overlooked note at the end just doesn’t cut it: “Text may contain traces of satire.“…

  3. cechas vodobenikov says

    as Hofstadter demonstrated the angloshere has always been anti-intellectual and amerikans hostile to education—anyone that has ready Dewey, Mann, Jules Henry r fully aware that these schools r designed to socialize not to educate, otherwise they would teach the concepts of truth and falsity and address ideas—something Postman demonstrated that isn’t in the USA—indeed US graduate schools do not address ideas…when last in the US I spoke w 5 US social science Ph.D’s —not one knew what dependency theory was, nor could they distinguish conflict theory, from Neo-realism, from post colonial theory, decoloniale theory, functionalism, nor emancipatory theory–not taught in US universities….”amerikan academia is far more effectively censored that was Soviet academia” Georgi Derlugian
    “censorship relects a society that has no confidence in itself”. Potter Stewart

  4. Jihadi Colin says

    In my entire school career I had only three teachers who were any good. One I am still in contact with; she’s 86 and long retired. These three enjoyed teaching and made an effort to make students enjoy learning. The rest were all, all, just going through the motions.

    1. V4V says

      In my entire career I had only three mail carriers who were any good.

      1. newestbeginning says

        In my entire career, I have had only … none… bosses that were any good.

        1. Collectivist says

          I know at least one ex-mail carrier who is . . ..well, you know😎. . .

          1. newestbeginning says


        2. V4V says


  5. Raptar Driver says

    The only good thing about schools In the traditional sense is that it provides a platform for integration and socialization for our children.
    As far as education maybe up to 6 or 7th grade. Of course now our schools are prisons for children. The answer is not to shut them down but a great reformation is necessary.

    1. disqus_3BrONUAJno says

      Don’t forget about the children whose only nutrition comes from their school.
      At the rate that unemployment is growing, the schools will need to be repurposed as homeless housing and feeding projects.

      1. Mary E says

        You are so right! Schools aren’t being used for ‘schooling’ and since they are government buildings, they should be used for the good of the people who pay taxes – or used to before their job losses – AND ..There is absolutely nothing wrong with
        online education!

        1. disqus_3BrONUAJno says

          How would one learn vocational skills online?

          1. V4V says

            You two are brilliant except the schools will not be closed indefinitely. Society needs to figure out how to feed and house the needy without taking over schools which will probably reopen in a matter of months when the pandemic is hopefully brought under control.

      2. Raptar Driver says

        Yes you are correct and I don’t forget. When the schools closed down here in March I volunteered to distribute food to remote communities in the school district via my school bus. Many people use the service and many told me how it was there only meals.

  6. ke4ram says

    LOL,,,, But sooooo true!

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