CDC Opens ‘Faucitown’ Where Residents Can Drink Vaccines Mixed in Kool-Aid Every Day

Residents say it is definitely not a cult.

“It’s like Disney World for the medically progressive.”

FAUCITOWN, GA—The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) have opened a village called Faucitown just outside of Atlanta where residents won’t be harassed with anti-science, anti-vaxxer propaganda.

Dr. Anthony Fauci was crowned the mayor of the new settlement for progressives and scientific people.

“I think people are getting tired of having to worry about people around them not being masked or vaccinated. Here in Faucitown, residents must wear three masks at a time or more and you can drink a COVID vaccine every day in a special Kool-Aid cocktail that I personally created,” Fauci said in an exclusive interview with Genesius Times.

While residents don’t have to be members of the Branch Covidian religious sect, it doesn’t hurt and they will be peer pressured to join upon arrival. Residents say it is definitely not a cult.

“This is such a relief to live here!” One of the first Faucitown residents Karen Karoppolous said. “Here I don’t get dirty looks for wearing 10 masks all the time. And my daily Kool-Aid vaccine has been very helpful to the mild Guillian-Barre paralysis that I’ve had since receiving my first Pfizer shot.”

Branch Covidians are the fastest growing religion in the country and President* Biden has confirmed their religious tax-exempt status.

Many Faucitown residents wear full PPE even when they’re alone in their homes.

“It’s just a really enlightened way to live,” Karoppolous added between epileptic seizures. “It’s like Disney World for the medically progressive.”

Source: Genesius Times

Text may contain traces of satire.

  1. ken says

    Good competition for the Babylon Bee. They’re both greeeaattt!! as Tony the tiger says.

  2. Jerry Hood says

    Plenty of stupid goyim jumping on satanic jew( Fauci) fishhook!!!

  3. Mr Reynard says

    Just above warning ? “Text may contain traces of satire.”
    Sorry I don’t see any satire here ??

  4. Jasper says

    I’m thinking that a MANDATORY ‘town hall’ type of meeting, (wherein we pay homage to Janet Sterno) ‘freshened-up’ with a healthy dose of CS gas, and then a lit highway flare thrown in for good measure, might eradicate their symptoms (aka STUPIDITY), then, afterwards, a volcanic eruption-like napalming, followed by a several-feet-deep ‘clean-up’ of the site.

    This also applies to ‘Beijing-in-the-Swamp,’ but the rats will swim to another location.

    Pictures at eleven.

    1. Eileen Kuch says

      How right you are, Jasper, and I agree 100%. “Faucitown”??? The CDC has really gone bonkers this time. I doubt this will last long since more and more people are waking up daily.

  5. Hany says

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  6. Ra-Horkhute says

    I guess I’m not the only one who has been using the Jonestown connection.

    1. Eileen Kuch says

      You’re absolutely right, Ra-Horkhute; you’re certainly not the only one who’s been using the Jonestown connection – many others, including myself – have been doing just that – using the Jonestown connection. “Faucitown” is certainly that connection.

  7. abinico warez says

    OK, so….. wait, feel like epileptic seizure coming on……..

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