Case for Biden Sainthood Opened at Vatican After He Raised Millions From the Dead on Election Day
Jesus was an amateur
VATICAN CITY—Pope Francis has praised the initiation of the cause for sainthood for US politician Joe Biden after evidence has been uncovered that he raised millions of people from the dead on and leading up to election day.
“Of course the case will be investigated thoroughly, but the first indication is that this is a miracle of biblical proportions,” the Supreme Pontiff said. “Millions of people were raised for the dead—albeit for just a brief time to vote for Joe Biden. This is amazing stuff.”
Causes for sainthood usually only begin after someone has died, but Vatican officials thought that this event called for an expedited process.
“We thought that we should get this thing started now because of the magnitude of the event,” Pope Francis said. “And the process takes a long time so he’s probably going to be dead by the time we wrap it up anyway.”
The evidence is undeniable and the case should be open and shut—what Pope Francis calls a “slam dunk”.
Here are just a few of the many cases of dead being raised to vote for Biden.
Turns out 118 year old “William Bradley” voted via absentee ballot in Wayne County, Michigan. William Bradley died in 1984.
How long has this been going on?
Try it for yourself: https://t.co/UWupRTi0Rw pic.twitter.com/aOLSe1DXJo
— Essential Fleccas 🇺🇸 (@fleccas) November 5, 2020
You gotta admire these voters in Philly. So committed that they requested ballots on the day they were born, 98 years ago. And kudos to Philly government for getting them a ballot on the same day! pic.twitter.com/jdKeHFEt20
— Raheem Kassam (@RaheemKassam) November 7, 2020
ANOTHER ANOTHER ONE: Apparently Donna Brydges (born in 1901) voted via absentee ballot in Mason County, Michigan. That would make her 119 years old!
More #deadvoters #stopthesteal https://t.co/fZN3vffXci pic.twitter.com/Sk6j50BpHp
— Essential Fleccas 🇺🇸 (@fleccas) November 5, 2020
🚨🚨🚨 FOUND ONE 🚨🚨🚨 pic.twitter.com/doDozNJmLa
— Jess 🇺🇸 (@jessiprincey) November 5, 2020
Source: Genesius Times
Text may contain traces of satire.
This is starting to seem like a cult following.
Who else but morons would vote for Biden?
Exhibit A:
DeBlasio’s daughter… She might have done this on purpose but I doubt she’s that smart. It’s more likely that they’re both just moronic thugs and really think stealing is ok, as long as it’s for the fake fucking cause they support.
Mayor De Blasio’s daughter was caught in an embarrassing on camera verbal slip up when she told an interviewer that Joe Biden “was able to steal” the election.
https://www.zerohedge.com/political/de-blasios-daughter-verbal-slip-claims-biden-was-able-steal-election
Just look at these two thuggish fucks…
https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/63a9c1caa9ed7f52d8fc4bc6ca7e7e139e8c31608ba4aa608dba6fa70181829b.jpg
Go ahead. Come over to the dark side. People are far dumber than you ever imagined. Accept it. The evidence is all around you. Most people are follow fashion to fit in fucking morons. Especially Americans. They accept shit because they think they have to do it to live and get their cold crap at McShitBurger.
That’s the hardest part. Today, everything is different. There’s no action. I have to wait around like everyone else. I can’t even get decent food. Right after I got here, I ordered some spaghetti with marinara sauce and I got egg noodles and ketchup. I’m an average nobody. I get to live the rest of my life like a schnook.
~ Henry Hill
I accepted it, I just have a problem wrapping my brain around it completely.
I don’t know of any of my Brother, and Sisters LDS who voted for Biden, and I abstained because they were all disgusting. By the way, do you know what LDS folks will be doing when the this puss pocket pops ? EATING !!
Not sure what LDS means.
zombies raised by democrip necromancers to vote for him. brainwashed rubes, pets made into voters by those voting for them, illegal immigrants, felons, probably many other ones that are not allowed to vote.
Good morning, Nice Thursday and the rest of the
Week . Take care. God bless.
doubt that causing a zombie apocalypse is cause for making one a saint.
Fuck. I object.
Lol https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/149ed5a7cff3efe03bf39dac9dfff3b707194cc462acf8e1f34cb0af8182b010.jpg
This. Times 100