California Leads Nation by Becoming First State to Mandate Full-Body Masks

Very progressive!

California is leading the nation once again. While other, backwards states are still clinging on to outdated notions like “liberty” and “freedom,” Governor Gavin Newsom has ordered all citizens to wear new full-body masks.

The progressive state is requiring all citizens to wear the newly designed full-body masks or risk death by stoning.

“California is the most progressive state in the nation; therefore, we will be the first ones to force all our citizens to wear these attractive new full-body masks,” said Governor Gavin Newsom. “Other states are still conservative and religious, but we are progressive and have dumped those outdated ideas.”

“Also, wear the mask or you will be imprisoned or shot.”

You can take the full-body mask off between bites at a restaurant, but you must put it back on again within five seconds or face the firing squads.

Source: The Babylon Bee

Text may contain traces of satire.

13 Comments
  1. NightriderXP1 says

    I just checked in to see how many idiots believe this satirical nonsense. There seems to be a sucker born every second here in the US and a few of them come here for their “news“. It’s really sad that people use the Internet to become dumber. It wasn’t supposed to work like this…

  2. nick1111 says

    With this idiot Newman everything is possible

  3. Raptar Driver says

    When I was a kid in the 70s California was like the promised land dude.
    Now it reminds me of a Mad Max movie.

    1. Mr. Evans says

      That’s because it is now . . . Ouch . . .

      1. Raptar Driver says

        I know, right?

  4. The Viking. says

    Fck me over.
    I would rather remain in South Africa where the whites are systematically killed by the blacks, than live in California

    1. Padre says

      They maybe doing all that you said, but it will still take them years to even the score!

  5. cechas vodobenikov says

    BLM burkhas for everyone, except for the homeless, antifa, BLM and drug addicts

    1. Mr. Evans says

      All Of This I$ From a $cript He I$ Gleefully Following . . . He Follow$ Order$ . . .

  6. restless94110 says

    That’s exactly where the “progressives” are going.

    1. Mr. Evans says

      As Well As With The Rethug-A$$-LiKKKlan$ . . . . They Are The 2 Party $ystem Of 1 Party Of Empathy-Less Psychopathic Greedy Fascistic Criminals . . . They Are Mirrors Of Each Other . . . ;-(

  7. Canosin says

    a full body straight jacket for the progressive Cal. Governor would be enough

  8. Mr. Evans says

    Californicatia Fascistic Governator Gavin $crewYou$om-More . . . Ouch . . .

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