BREAKING: Over 24,000 Americans Have Died From a Viral Lung Infection; It’s Time to PANIC

COVID-19 in the United States. It is time to panic.

The figures include 155 children had died from COVID-19 this season. Can we please start panicking?

Widespread outbreaks are reported in Alabama, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, Georgia, Idaho, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan, Mississippi, Missouri, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, North Carolina, Ohio, Oklahoma, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Puerto Rico, Rhode Island, South Carolina, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Vermont, Virginia, Washington, West Virginia and Wisconsin. PLEASE PANIC!

UPDATE: Oh, actually, those aren’t numbers for coronavirus/COVID-19, those are annual flu deaths, so we’re fine. Don’t need to shut anything down. Nothing to see here, move along.

Source: Genesius Times

Text may contain traces of satire.

4 Comments
  1. kpevt12 . says

    If I remember, the flu season of 2017/2018 killed 80,000 Americans over a 5 month period. Did not have Martial Law back then. However, it was not time for the Stock Market to crash either. While everyone is masking up and hiding in their homes … the Bankers and Corporations get a Trillion plus bailout. How convenient that you cannot have a mass protest against this scam … they will lock you up for violating a Cold Virus.

  2. Jozo Magoc says

    They are dying because they are hooked up on the ” ventilators” in too late stage! If the moronic doctors hooked you up before any major symptom occurs, you’d get trough it!
    I advice you,if you have squba diving equipment,get it adjusted on more oxygen and use it in early stage!!!

    1. itchyvet says

      Sport scuba equipment does not use oxygen ! You breath compressed air. Pure oxygen would KILL you.

      1. Undecider says

        Actually, it doesn’t. Look up the pure O2 diving rigs.

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