BREAKING: Over 24,000 Americans Have Died From a Viral Lung Infection; It’s Time to PANIC
The figures include 155 children had died from COVID-19 this season. Can we please start panicking?
Widespread outbreaks are reported in Alabama, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, Georgia, Idaho, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan, Mississippi, Missouri, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, North Carolina, Ohio, Oklahoma, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Puerto Rico, Rhode Island, South Carolina, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Vermont, Virginia, Washington, West Virginia and Wisconsin. PLEASE PANIC!
UPDATE: Oh, actually, those aren’t numbers for coronavirus/COVID-19, those are annual flu deaths, so we’re fine. Don’t need to shut anything down. Nothing to see here, move along.
Source: Genesius Times
Text may contain traces of satire.