BREAKING: Masked Man Commits Armed Robbery in Broad Daylight

PHILADELPHIA—A masked man has committed armed robbery in broad daylight.

The robbery occurred Friday morning at the Pennsylvania Convention Center, where vote counting for the 2020 presidential election has been taking place.

It’s unclear who the thief was but some described him as an elderly, white male who kept yelling something about “Trunalimunumaprzure.”

“This is normal. Nothing to see here,” Pennsylvania Elections Official Karen Alexander said. “Do not ask questions. Definitely don’t take any video. Please go about your normal routine. Everything is fine.”

Police have detained two men driving around the Convention Center for no apparent reason, but they have not done anything to the man who stole the election.

Tensions were high outside the convention center all day Thursday as Donald Trump supporters and Joe Biden backers protested. Separated by barricades, Trump supporters on one side chanted “Four more years!” and Biden backers chanted “Count every vote!”

Source: Genesius Times

Text may contain traces of satire.

14 Comments
  1. nick1111 says

    Grinch stole the Christmas

  2. Mr. Evans says

    COVID-OP$1984 Is A Realm-Wide Psyop Or Psychological Operation In Fear And Control, And A $camdemic Using A Non Viru$ Called COVID19 To Force Bad For Your Lungs And Face Health Face Diaper Nappy Muzzle$ And Illegal-Criminal Lockdown$ To De$troy Everyone’s Job$ And Career$ . . . ;-( . . . Refuse Their Illegal Criminal Actions And Remove Your Damned Very Dangerous, Harmful And Deadly To Your And Your Children’s And Families Health Face Diaper Muzzle$ And Breath In The Air . . . Refuse Any And All Vaccine$ And $hot$ For They Are Not $afe, But Highly Toxic And Potentially Deadly To You, Your Children And Your Family . . . ;-( . . . . Refuse Them Because Your Lives Depend On Standing Up And Not Allowing Them Into Your Bodies . . . The Sleepers Must Awaken Fully . . .

  3. Mr. Evans says

    COVID-OP$1984 I$ A Down Right F’n Evil Sick Twisted Sadistic Sinister Psyops Or Psychological Operation In Fear And Control . . . It’$ An Illegal-Criminal Pre-Planned $camdemic . . . U$ing Evil Soulless Empathy-Less Psychopathic Sadistic Mega-Criminal Ma$$-Murderer $hill Gate$ Of HELL, And Evil Soulless Empathy-Less Psychopathic Sadistic Mega-Criminal Ma$$-Murderer ᛋᛋ Doctor Death Fauci’s Deadly Toxic Brew Vaccine$ For A Non Viru$ Called COVID19 To $terilize Mo$t Of The Realm’s People, . . . And To Microchip Everyone, . . . And To Euthanize The Majority Of Humans Everywhere To Reduce Bipedal Humanity Down To Below 5 Hundred Million People Realm-Wide $o That The Survivors Can Then Be Fully Controlled And En$laved In Camp$ To Do Their Evil Fascistic Psychopantic Bidding . . . This Is Unfortunately No Joke, . . And I Am Not Insane Nor Drunk Or On Drugs . . . . You Need To Wake The Fuck Up And Rise Up And Fight For Your Lives, . . And For Your Families Lives Because Thi$ I$ A Preview Of Their Evil Sinister Nefariou$ $hite Plan$ To Genocide 90% + Of The Human Population Realm Wide With The Sadistic Fascistic UN Agenda 21 And Agenda 2030 Up Here In The Northern Part Of This Realm, . . And Whatever Fascistic UN Agenda$ They Are Following Down In The Southern Realm . . . If You Value Your Lives, . . And Your Childrens And Families Lives Stand Up And Fight Back Against The Evil Violent Fascistic ᛋᛋ NAZI Fourth Reich . . . . I Am Completely Serious People . . . Stand Up And Fight Them United . . . . . . . It’s All A Multi Layered Psyops Or Psychological Operation In Fear And Control . . . . Take Off Your Very Harmful To Your Face, Mouth And Lungs Health Compliant Acquiescent Face Diaper Muzzle And Breath The Air Into Your Lungs And Say Hell No To Their Sadistic COVID-OP$1984 Fascistic Criminal $camdemic Game$ . . . . The Sleepers Must Fully Awaken And Refuse Their Evil $hite Before It’s Too Late For Everyone . . . . ;-0

  4. Mr. Evans says

    There Is Only 1 Political Party In The FMRU$ Which Is The Party Of Empathy-Less Psychopathic Criminals And Forever $$$ Making Off Forever War Criminals Which Are Controlled By The Hidden Hand Or Claw Depending On Which You Believe In . . . Both $ides Are Actually 1 Criminal $ide . . . . The Sleepers Must Awaken Fully And Stand Up And Fight The Evil Future Which Awaits All Of U.$. Here . . . ;-(

  5. ke4ram says

    Americans will be shocked (shocked!) how fast things will go down next year if the left gets the office.

    You have about 6-12 months to decide if you do not want full blown communism. Your choice…

      1. disqus_3BrONUAJno says

        Karma has never applied to bipartisan dictatorships.

      2. Mr. Evans says

        Precisely . . . lol . . .

      3. ke4ram says

        Agreed… sort of.

        Look at the rest of the West. Australia, NZ, UK, EU,,, pretty much all of the “demockracies”. They’re out North Koreing, North Korea. They are already fascist toast. At least America still has a shot in the dark. Maybe America will find its lost soul. IMO it is the last minuscule chance for a free world.

        If only these masked assholes would wake up and smell the roses. Regardless of the lies over the nonexistent virus, the truth that the PCR test is a joke (on them), proof of the Medical Industrial Complex lying about the deaths and cases, incredibly they STILL BELIEVE! Their children they claim to love are being suffocated and brain damaged by the mask, and mentally damaged by the sickness cult. Sending them to schools is now worse then water boarding.

        The video you show accurately describes what is happening to freedom on a world scale. Your only hope is the country you hate. If it goes down (and it looks like it will) then you and the world loses.

        1. Mr. Evans says

          So, . . . You Don’t Believe In Predictive Programming ? . . . Read My Post Below About All Of The Programmed Face Diaper Nappy Muzzle Wearing Compliant $heeple Zombie$ All Around Us Below And You Will Change Your Mind On Mind Programming And How Wide-$pread It I$. . . . ;-( . . . . The Sleepers Must Fully Awaken Before It Is Too Late . . .

          Beware Of The Single & Double Digit IQ’er Face Diaper Nappy Muzzle Wearing $heeple Zombie$ From World War Z . . . . Because They Are Driving Around You While Wearing Their Totally Useless Totally Acquiescing Good Little Compliant $heeple Muzzle$ While Out And About, . . And While Walking Around All By Themselves, . . . And While Riding Their Bicycles All By Themselves, . . . And In The Store Near You Waiting In Line Both In Front Of You, . . . Behind You, . . . And While Checking You Out . . . . You Are Surrounded . . . . Run. . . . Run Fast . . . . Ouch . . . . lol . . . .

    1. disqus_3BrONUAJno says

      Does changing the president in this case eliminate the separation of powers between the three branches of the government? Gridlock will increase if the Senate retains its Republican majority. Harris will not be respected or respectable in the Senate. . We’ll have to see if Barrett makes the Court any more responsible.
      Full blown communism would require the government to take ownership of all business, and we’ve already seen what they can do with simple fascist control of it under the guise of public health.

    2. Mr. Evans says

      It Will $till Happen No Matter Whom I$ In The Oval Orifice . . . ;-0

  6. Raptar Driver says

    The gangsta state has revealed itself.
    Anyone who’s supports it at this point is a criminal!

    1. Mr. Evans says

      Agreed . . . ;-(

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