Biden to Give His First Press Conference in the Year 4032, Shortly After It’s Okay to Stop Wearing Masks

The thing with Stephanopoulos was a pre-recorded interview

Media reports confirmed today that President Biden is set to have his first press conference in the year 4032, shortly after the year it will be okay to stop wearing masks.

Biden’s Press Secretary Jen Psaki made the announcement earlier today. “I can finally confirm that the president will give his first press conference in the year 4032,” she said. “I know that’s a bit far from now, but it’s the only year he’s available to do it in since he’ll be taking an extended nap for the next 2,000 years. We had to work around the president’s hectic schedule of non-stop napping. He’s having a really good nap right now.”

Psaki’s announcement created some confusion, however, since it’s currently unclear if the country will even survive that long, let alone the president. It’s also unclear if Biden will even remember that he’s president in 2,000 years from now, since he seemingly can’t remember what happened 5 seconds ago.

Psaki also confirmed that when she says she’s going to “circle back” that means after one revolution of our solar system around the Milky Way galaxy, which is approximately 225 to 250 million terrestrial years.

In a follow-up statement, Psaki also confirmed that Biden will finally visit the border in the year 3046.

Source: Genesius Times

Text may contain traces of satire.

  1. Pieter Lalleman says

    Love the satire, It’s obvious Trump was taken out because of his tweets, he talked to much so to speak, so this time Deepstate took no chances. Never forget seeïng him saying “let’s take out those leftist governments in south-america, living in Brazil I knew what was coming and suffering the consequences ever since. So now they got this total retard who will do whatever he is told, to understand the full meaning of what I’m saying, just look who’s appointed to his cabinet. Lavrov is right, there is no communication possible with these morons. I truly hope the russian leadership will continue to show the wisdom they have shown so far, Ukraïne, Syria…. This post is closest to the truth, next page WWIII, the empire blowing itself to kingdom come. This is what the financial power elite behind the scene want, blowing up the crime scene to whipe out the tracks.

  2. ken says

    Stop wearing masks in 4032?

    You’re being far too presumptuous!

Leave A Reply

Your email address will not be published.