Americans Feel So Much Safer After Assassination of Some Guy They Never Heard of Before

Mr. Dueck of Seminole is breathing a sigh of relief this morning after it was revealed that some guy he’d never heard of before was now dead.

“Finally I can sleep at night!” said Dueck, quickly Googling ‘General Qasem Solemaini’ so he can look smart at the coffee shop this afternoon. “I’m glad we finally have a President who looks after our interests instead of just being concerned about his own reelection!”

After skimming the Wikipedia article about Solemaini, Dueck now believes that the assassination was definitely justified.

“I don’t know how we survived and thrived as a country all these years with that guy I just heard of his morning around,” said Dueck. “Good thing that guy from out over there somewhere is gone!”

Dueck spent the rest of the afternoon arguing with people on the Internet and informing them about some group he recently learned about, but cannot pronounce, called Quds Force.

“You don’t have to be scared of them anymore,” said Dueck to his buddies who informed him they weren’t actually afraid to begin with. “Having watched more than three YouTube videos on the topic, I can tell you that the world is a lot safer now that what’s his name is dead!”

After a full day’s worth of reading Internet comments, Dueck is now the nation’s self-proclaimed foremost expert on foreign policy and is looking forward to his work as a pundit on Fox News in the very near future.

Source: The Daily Bonnet

Text may contain traces of satire


RT:

A new poll has found that Americans doubt Donald Trump has a clear Iran policy, but nonetheless they support the decision to kill Qassem Soleimani – who, remarkably, had been an unknown entity for the majority of respondents.

Forty-three percent of Americans said they approved of the US drone strike that killed the Iranian commander last week in Baghdad, while 38% disapproved and 19% said they were unsure, according to the results of a HuffPost/YouGov survey.

And while almost half the country backs Soleimani’s assassination, 60% of Americans conceded that they had never heard of the Quds Force commander before last week. An additional 14% said they weren’t sure if they had known about him before the strike.

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[…] Americans Feel So Much Safer After Assassination of Some Guy They Never Heard of Before by The Daily Bonnet on January 7, 2020 at 19:09 […]

SanityClaus
SanityClaus
11 months ago

THE BRITISH CROWN IS A FAKE BANK/COUNTRY IN THE MIDDLE OF LONDON.
IT IS OWNED BY ISRAEL, SAUDI ARABIA, THE VATICAN AND A REVOLVING RETINUE OF INVESTORS. TRUMP/OBAMA/THE PENTAGON NATO HEROIN MAFIA ALL DANCE TO THE TUNE OF THE BRITISH CROWN WHO PAYS THE PIPERS WITH FAKE MONEY THEY PULL OUT OF THEIR ASS. THE ONLY MONEY ACCEPTED AS PAYMENT FOR YOUR LOCAL MUNICIPAL DEBT BONDS IS FAKE MONEY FEDERAL RESERVE NOTES BACKED BY NOTHING PRINTED BY THE PENTAGON BABY KILLERS. THE PENTAGON HAS A FUTURE FOR YOU KIDS AS TRAITORS SERVING THE BRITISH EMPIRE. THE PENTAGON WIPES THEIR ASS WITH OUR DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE. THE PENTAGON IS DIGGING GRAVES FOR OUR KIDS IN ARLINGTON VIRGINIA NEXT TO THE BRITISH EMPIRE U.S. NATIONAL ANGLICAN CHURCH CATHEDERAL OF ELIZIBETH SAX COBURG WINDSOR.

Natural_Texan
Natural_Texan
11 months ago

I have once or twice criticized inappropriate sarcasm and levity? But this is pretty great!

Les Duffey
Les Duffey
11 months ago

We’re all doomed.

Mychal Arnold
Mychal Arnold
11 months ago

The ussa made a huge mistake the Iranians are not going to rise to the bait. They want to be left in peace. Bide and wait their moment to strike the ussa will never see it coming,

Natural_Texan
Natural_Texan
10 months ago
Reply to  Mychal Arnold

Yes I agree that is likely their plan.. the overnight missile attack on the US base was just to clear the playing field. The problem with their otherwise sound strategy is that the US and Israel will not wait. Expect some (false) provocation at any moment.

junktex
junktex
10 months ago
Reply to  Natural_Texan

Iran will not be allowed to defuse this situation.

kpevt12 .
kpevt12 .
11 months ago

Nothing like living in a country with 290 million bobble heads. I am so blessed.

Ricky Miller
Ricky Miller
11 months ago
Reply to  kpevt12 .

Thanks for rubbing it in.

Jozo Magoc
Jozo Magoc
10 months ago
Reply to  kpevt12 .

I taught,there were 320/ 330 million dickheads in the United Snakes under the zionist cackroaches!

Eric Boetius
Eric Boetius
10 months ago
Reply to  Jozo Magoc

Most uninformed population in this world

kpevt12 .
kpevt12 .
10 months ago
Reply to  Jozo Magoc

you would be surprised that about 10% of Americans do know what is going on …. the other 290 million, heads still bobbing up and down

Natural_Texan
Natural_Texan
10 months ago
Reply to  kpevt12 .

More than just 10% I believe. We are simply confounded by the barrage of illegality and wrongheadedness coming not only from our titular leaders but from our neighbors!

Eric Boetius
Eric Boetius
10 months ago
Reply to  kpevt12 .

You’re blessed

Anti-Empire