Al Gore Predicts Massive Apocalypse If Billions Are Not Spent on His Books, Films

Time for countries and communities to urgently drop all other priorities and redirect all spending to the purchase of Al Gore’s books and movies

Al Gore spoke at the Global Action Climate Summit in San Fransisco on Sunday and he didn’t parse words. “This world is headed for a global catastrophe of apocalyptic proportions if everyone doesn’t drop all other priorities and redirect all spending toward buying my books and seeing my movies,” Gore said.

“I am not messing around,” he added. “I am super serious.”

Gore went on to present numerous charts and graphs showing a direct correlation between the destruction of the Earth and his profit margins.

“Science deniers can scoff all they want,” he said while aiming a laser pointer at a chart showing his prediction that the Earth will end within five years if his new book does not make the top of the New York Times Bestseller List. “And even that could be too little too late,” Gore said. “To really guarantee that this environmental apocalypse doesn’t happen, my books need to outsell the Bible.”

Several scientists on the panel agreed wholeheartedly with Gore’s assessment. “The evidence is irrefutable,” said Dr. Sufjan Swami of Johns Hopkins University. “To not buy Al’s books and movies at a time like this is tantamount to treason.” Various experts on the panel all agreed that it was time for all countries and communities to come together and commit all of their resources to the purchase of Al Gore’s books and movies. 

At publishing time, sources had confirmed that Gore then switched to simulated footage of people melting in a massive inferno for buying the latest Stephen King or James Patterson novel instead of his books.

Source: The Babylon Bee

  1. begood says

    The political whore was not right last time. Now he is back with fantasy stories with
    (if) we do not and so on. He is the big jester on the world arena. Back in business,
    Al Gore is the super narcissist with new transactions !

  2. Mikhail Garchenko says

    GFYS, cockroach..! 😛

  3. Mappe says

    If he says is true and he cares about the future of our planet he would make sure anyone could read his books thus releasing them for free online. I cant understand how anyone ever could believe in this psycho.

    1. begood says

      Narcissist Gore, is the transaction man. He does not understand humans.

  4. Undecider says

    Also, as the global temperature declines, his profits will see the same.

  5. John C Carleton says

    Ole REACH DEEP IN YOUR POCKETS, and give it to me, snake oil Gore.

    1. DarkEyes says

      IMO snake oil Al is a fake, a hoax.
      You will get nothing from him while he is soooooh greedy.
      BTW Al is already the owner of a multiple of millions of USDollars (paper money).
      I suspect Al wants to switch to gold.

  6. DarkEyes says

    IMO, Dr. Sufjan Swami has got his frequent dosis brainwashing treatment at the Tavistock Institute in Johns Hopkins University which could be a subsidiray of Tavistock Institute in London, England. Tavistock Institute is very, very influential globally in mind control.
    (Especially for Politicians and Big Company CEOs and Military).

    IMO, Dr. Sufjan Swami is a snake-oil-scientist together with all socalled climate-scientists & Co. The “climate change (CG) scientists” are working from behind their desk with a computer on it and playing CG, by processing models on the screen.

    The nice thing for these pseudo scientists is, the world population have to pay for its own downfall to that kind of people via extra CG-taxes of which more to come due to “Greta-Climate Change-fever”.
    A new phase of the further downfall of the world has begun.

  7. Natural_Texan says

    I love these spoofs and Gore deserves some poking.. but, so-called climate change aside, there is a long term crisis of pollution and loss of habitats, over-harvesting and more. And it is escalating.

    1. therevolutionwas says

      and like the vast majority of plastic islands of trash floating around the oceans, it has been found that the US is not to blame.

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