$1.9 Trillion Stimulus Bill Expected to Stimulate National Debt

Congress is looking to pass a 1.9 trillion-dollar stimulus package, which experts say will have a highly stimulating effect on the national debt.

“We will pass this stimulus bill without Republican support,” said Speaker Nancy Pelosi. “Doing so will help hard-working Americans and breathe fresh new life into our national debt!”

Financial experts from The New York Times’ opinion page have long feared that America’s national debt is not growing fast enough to sustain their brilliant economic theories, and hope this bill will serve to boost the national debt to more comfortable levels.

There are some detractors in the Democrat party, however. AOC is reportedly upset that the package isn’t closer to eleventy-quadrillion dollars, as that would provide much more relief. Ilhan Omar pulled her support for the legislation after finding out that some of the stimulus checks would go to Jews.

Fortunately for the Democrats, both representatives fell in line after Nancy Pelosi threatened to have them hobbled with a sledgehammer by her security detail.

Source:  The Babylon Bee

Text may contain traces of satire.

  1. ken says

    Pelosi is a has been,,, politician, female, mother or for that matter human. Her, Feinstein, Biden and the other wheel chair hippo’s feeding at the taxpayers trough are clear examples of why republics don’t last.

  2. Jerry Hood says

    In 2033, the zionist United Snakes regime shall be bankrupt and dead!!!

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